never?

Losing defining moments is a little scary. Forgetting about those things that you thought you would never forget or get over is quite strange.

Who hasn't been through a break up? And who hasn't uttered the words "I'll never get over him, I'll never forget..."

I experienced the longest relationship of my young life last year. I felt so much, discovered so much, pushed my comfort boundaries. I cried a lot, I laughed just as much, I thought a lot, and I hurt more than I thought I could for a guy.

It was not my first relationship at all, but there were so many firsts with him. Things that at the time I thought would remain engraved in my memory forever. Now, weeks on end go by sometimes without the slightest thought of him; my heart is stone.

But then a song, a letter, an email... something comes along and revives the memory of that person. It's a little sad, a little painful to revisit it all. But the most shocking part is how much I don't think about it.

Going from my heart and head being split into two countries all the time to having my full attention in one place is a great feeling. I wonder where all that time thinking about him has gone. In my current mindframe, it was a waste. How could it not be when you have no point of validation?

He's nothing but a name now. A face I stumble upon in photos sometimes. A chat buddy on my list who I no longer care to chat with. "I'll never forget..."

We do forget. Everything passes.
I hope I remember that when I go through my next break up.


Listening to: Sting - Fields of Gold