somewhere in the middle

I'm sitting in my bathrobe with a clay mask on my face...my skin seems to be suffering the consequences of my stress lately. I've eaten every oily food in the house in the past three hours, and I've got a box of chocolate chip cookies waiting its turn. I've smoked cigarette after cigarette, even though my throat hurts.

I'm having a shitty day again. Contrary to what my recent posts may suggest, it hasn't been all bad lately. But when it's bad, it seems the snowball effect just kicks in.

I had a great night last night, partied a little too much for a weeknight. This morning was of course going to be rough, but I managed. The more the day went along, the more tired, hungry, frustrated, annoyed I became. And right at the end of the day, a work issue came up. I've been feeling like crap since.

I also feel like crap because men are tiring me. The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of butterflies with one guy, and things seem to be waning now...before they've even really begun. I so want to believe his reasons...but my gut is telling me to stay guarded.

I need to sleep. I need a hug. I need great food. I need pleasant weather. I need to believe that tomorrow is another day...