sleepless
I can't sleep. I'm tired, but my mind is racing...I had a conversation earlier that left me unintentionally emotional, scared, and deeply reflective. I went to bed and the tears just came...
I still want to cry, and a few tears are rolling down now and then...I'm so confused about my life; you shut out something long enough, it will resurface with a vengeance.
I don't know what I'm lacking in my life, but I feel like there's this big hole inside my soul. I need passion...and I don't mean just romantic passion, but a passionate life.
This place is deadening every nerve of my being, when all I want to do is break out and live.
posted by sky @ 2:03 AM
11 Comments:
are you ready to live a passionate life?
sounds like you're having a bad day.. i had one of those last week.. having undergone a similar return back to the middle east as yourself, the transition is all jumbled.. some days are better than others, while some days are just destructive to your wellbeing.. there's nothing you can do to escape, believe me i've tried.. the only advice i can offer is just find something to do.. whatever you do stay away from paolo coehlo..
i know the feeling. It's a bit common in this country i guess... You reach a point where you can't stand all this artificiality and emptiness around, which ends up reflecting deep into you.
hope things get better,
all the best.
Move to Spain. Thats what I´ve done!
I liked Fouad's question.
My experience tells if you started feeling the hole in your soul and you really wanna fill it, you will...
Fouad, I think I might be ready. I know it's overwhelming, since a passionate life is not all roses. I fully understand that with passion comes heavy emotions and often, pain, but I just keep thinking that an emotional life is better than a secure one.
Bahraini, welcome, and you're right, coelho is the worst at times like these. I tried to read Veronica Decides to Die again a couple of weeks back, and it was just nauseating...
Raed, that's exactly the feeling I get, thanks for your kind words.
Abha, you've landed in the midst of the land of passion, you're so lucky..:)
Thanks twintopaz :)
Eyewitness, I hope you're right. I hope (somehow masochistichally) that this hole will be deep enough to get me to do something about it.
i would like to share one more thing...
this same feeling has been dragging with me for a very long time and stupid me, i was putting so much pressure on myself to bear up and ignore... but it reached a point where i just couldn't take it anymore and it really started to affect me, not only on the emotional side, even physically (health wise)... its somehow similar to an inflating baloon, getting bigger and weaker... only a matter of time before it explodes.
And really, if you give it some thought, its not worth it.
I recently decided to make some major changes in my life. I'm working on that...
hope things work out with you as well.
You lack action in your life. I feel the same way but I'm at a different geographical location want to move to your location :)
Warning signs are all over the place, in the faces of people who are planning to move to the UAE. It makes me wonder if I will like it there. I will try to make the best of it.
Maybe you need to make some changes in your life and see if it gets better.Maybe Raed has some tips. You both live in the same place, maybe he can help :)
I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this.
A common syndrome in the city without soul. What you need for passion is a cause. You have to find your own battle and put all your passsion into fighting it.
A change of location is the best solution. Come to India. We have no shortage of passions or causes.
Habibti, je t'avais dit de venir me voir ! Tu n'aurais pas eu cette conversation, et ce que cela a entraine. Mais oui, je sais, c'est quelque chose que tu avais deep inside et qui devait sortir a un moment ou un autre...
J'espere que ca va mieux depuis, sinon, voila ce que je te propose :
- A big hug.
- Tu viens me voir a Paris :)
- Tu te trouves une occupation pour sortir de l'ennui, comme font mes copines la-bas : du sport, de la danse, apprends une langue, reprends le piano (ou passe a un autre instrument !), fais du yoga (je te jure, c'est genial), prends des cours de dessin, de sculpture, fais du benevolat...
- Tu te casses ! Tu vas ailleurs, sachant que tu pourras toujours retourner a AD un jour :)
Bisous hayate,
Sissy.
Je suis en d'accord! le yoga est vraiment genial!
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