pieces of me

I'm feeling really restless tonight. All I wanted to do this afternoon after work was get home, slip into bed, and just do absolutely nothing. A half hour into doing nothing, I started feeling antsy.

The past week has been quite a busy one, between work, studying for my GRE, camping and a couple of occasional outings. I also met an out of town guy over the weekend, and it was nice to indulge in a little fling after so long.

I love the feeling of meeting a guy and sharing an experience with him, no matter how insignificant it is. Any feminists reading will want to crucify me for saying this, but the rush of meeting someone, even if it's just about an attraction, is just fun. I rarely experience that here, not because I'm picky, but because interesting people are really hard to find.

I'd hate to think my current melancholic state is only related to this, but I do think it plays a big role.

This feeling hits me once in a while, and I wallow in it for a day or two. I ask myself a million questions, I reminisce on days gone by, I wonder if my life was ever full enough that I never felt this way.

Probably not. But since I've been back to Abu Dhabi, I feel it more and more. Every few months, things build up and I seem to be having a great time. But then it all dies down, and I'm back to feeling like I'm merely existing, not living.

Maybe I'm just tired. I pull an all nighter one night and I need a week to recover; I feel old. I know it's a dumb thing to say at my age, but I do. Re-reading this post, I realise that my thoughts are disconnected, kinda all over the place. It'll all pull itself together eventually, and writing generally helps the piecing-my-life-together process.