boys and girls

For the second time this week, I've dreamt of the X. Why why why?

They've also both been dreams in which things get quite intimate. Hmm. I mentioned this to former crush M today, and he said it's a sign that X might come back into my life. No no no. I know he won't, and even if he does, I wouldn't give him much consideration.

Now, if he flies all the way from wherever he is and starts to tell me all about his feelings and why he was such a jerk, I might just listen. But there isn't a chance in hell that this would happen.

So...moving on.

As I mentioned, M is now a former crush. Except not really...The "I want him now!" vibe has definitely died down, and I didn't even flinch when he told me of a weekend fling with some out-of-town chick. On the contrary, I wanted to hear all the juicy details.

I'm afraid I may have moved into the friend zone. Except once in a while there's a look, a teasing "I hate you" that comes out of his mouth, or excessive accidental touching that make me wonder. I also asked M flat out whether he believes in friendships between guys and girls, to which he replied a very confident yes.

See, I don't believe in pure friendships between guys and girls. I think there's always a reason for the friendship; guy finds girl hot or vice versa, strikes up conversation, ends up going nowhere, but they end up friends. Or, guy and girl date for a while, ends up going nowhere, end up being friends. Or guy is girl's boyfriend's friend, so they end up being friends.

Anyway, the point is, I think there's no such thing as being friends between the two sexes, just for the sake of being friends. It may end up that way, but surely it does not begin that way. And in my very humble opinion, I think most guys I know would agree to that. So M's resounding "yes" was quite disconcerting. Maybe he was trying to make a point? (no Sky, I do not want you!)

Hmm.

Anyway, having a semi-crush isn't half bad, especially if you are not holding out for anything more than a little flirting here and there. It's fun. I catch myself staring at his very manly hands (so important!), involuntarily giggling at his dumb jokes, and even checking out areas no good girl should be checking out in broad daylight. Ah, lust...