I woke up, hungover and parched, stumbled to the living room, following my father telling me America was under attack. After watching in complete disbelief and in a hungover haze, I went to my room and cried. I cried for the the moment the planes hit the towers, I cried for the moment the towers fell, I cried for the look on people's face, and I cried for the people inside the towers and inside the planes.
Last night, as I was turning out for the night, I switched on to CNN to watch the 9/11 commemorations. I cried again. The images never fail to move me, and the chaos of that day never fails to give me goose bumps. But I think I cried for different reasons yesterday.
As I watched footage from that day five years ago, I couldn't help but wonder how the American people must feel now, now that we have more information, now that we know just how corrupt the American government is. I whole-heartedly believe that the American government was in on this, and had I been an American, I would feel like a complete fool.
I hate myself for feeling anything when I see the dramatic images from 9/11. After all, this kind of carnage happens everyday in my country, in my friend's countries, and the world stands by in silence. No memorials, no services, no songs, no wreaths, no tears for the people of the Middle East. It's a given...the Middle East is an unstable region, with people getting killed day in and day out...surely we couldn't hold a memorial every single day.
But the people who died on 9/11 were just as innocent as the people dying in the Middle East. On top of everything, they were and still are duped by their despicable leaders. 9/11 did change the world, but not in the self-centered way the US believes it did.
My world was changed because I started to wake up to the fact that I could no longer be naive about international politics. I was 20 years old...it might have been a little late, but I'd always wanted to believe in the good of people.
My world was changed because us Arabs became targets...it was our time now, just like the Native Indians, the African Americans, the Jews...before us. I had hoped I'd never see the day we'd become stereotyped, but here we are, living it.
As the commemorations went on yesterday, CNN showed images of almost every leader in the world offering support for the Americans during a tragic time. Muslims, Jews, Christians banded together to pray for the victims. But look what the US has done now...it has alienated almost anyone who ever offered any kind of sympathy and made the world a more divided, chaotic and depressing place.
As I watched Bush lay wreaths at Ground Zero, I hoped for a moment of pure madness where he would just explode and admit to his mistakes. This man must have a heavy, heavy conscience...standing at the place he helped destroy with blood on his hands. The blood of Americans, the blood of Iraqis, the blood of Lebanese, the blood of Palestinians.
We've come quite a long way in 5 years...Bravo Bush and friends...you've managed to fool the world and your people into believing that you are protecting them. Let's hope your little scenario and your overstayed welcome end soon.