abu dhabi sunshine

life, times...and opinions from Abu Dhabi

Friday, December 02, 2005

quarter-life emotional crisis

I don't think I have anything in particular to say today, but I just feel like writing!

You'd think someone who writes for a living may be sick of writing, or not really miss it. But I do! Even though I'm dreading going into work tomorrow morning while half of the country will be tanning on the beaches, feasting on barbecues, or just attempting to hook up with a guy I probably don't even want to be with.

But I mention it, because it is bugging me!
I wonder if we really ever get over the boyfriends who've really loved us (not the rest).

Matters of the heart are a tricky, tricky thing. You just never know when those dormant feelings will resurface, or when posessiveness will strike. He is no longer my property, nor has he been for years. I wonder what re-ignites some 'feelings'.

Is it a recent break-up? The creepy crawly fear that comes with age that you might never find someone to be with? My 25th birthday is looming, and never have I been more aware of my age or my emotional status. I know, I'm young...but I also live in Abu Dhabi, the wrong place for single women.

So here's the question:
go in for the fight? or leave it up to fate?

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2 Comments:

At 10:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got this when I turned 25!Enjoy!
Being Twenty-Something - They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."
It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One-night-stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself...and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! W!hat you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. Send this to your twenty-something friends... maybe it will help someone feel like they aren't alone in their state of confusion... "I bend but I do not break."

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger sky said...

Thanks Cynthia
I had read this before, about a year ago I think. It seems to make more and more sense as I go through my 20's I guess...I re-read some of the phrases and couldn't believe how right on they are. Thanks for sending it my way.

 

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