abu dhabi sunshine

They are called private for a reason...

2007-01-29T21:13:00.000+04:00

(Excerpt from Gulf News article about women undergoing surgery to restore their virginity).

"The law in the UAE and most GCC countries does not define such practices as a crime. However, the UAE Supreme Court has set a law that prohibits touching the female's private parts in any way except with permission of the woman's guardian such as the father or husband."

What I do with my private parts is my business. Period.

"Summer lovin', had me a blast....Summer lovin', happened so fast..."

2007-01-26T22:44:00.000+04:00

Nothing like a summer romance to leave you feeling nostalgic for a while, lingering on every little detail of every kiss, every look and every word. And that lingering goodbye, where you wish it could all just last a little longer...It'll all make a girl feel 15 again and give her those butterflies everyone seems to be after.

Halfway during my summer trip to Greece, I had my unexpected "Summer Lovin'" moment. He was French, not-so-tall, dark and oh so handsome, but I didn't tick right away. As we hung out drinking Bacardi breezers under the stars with the group that first night, I even thought 'nah, this guy isn't for me,' for no particular reason. But there were a couple of looks that tipped me off to the fact that he may be into me.

The second night, as we had more drinks under the stars at a bar in Milos, it was clear he was going after me, and our conversation flowed as we flirted back and forth, and our hands 'accidentally' touched over 300 times.

The next two days flew by as my Frenchie and I got to know each other a little better. And then there was the inevitable goodbye in Athens, after a long overnight ferry trip to the mainland. It was brief and cute...nothing over the top, with a customary and polite 'let's keep in touch.'

We emailed back and forth when I came back to Abu Dhabi and he went back to Barcelona, and the words on the screen just flowed. Virtually, we clicked unbelievably...I laughed and blushed as I read his words. Very cheesy!

I never thought I'd see him again until he started talking of visiting me here. When that didn't work out, I suggested we meet up in Europe somewhere. Since I had planned to visit a friend in Geneva, this was going to be our meeting point....a far cry from the perfect sun and sea of the Greek islands.

And so on my previously mentionned mini-break, I reconnected with my Frenchie from Greece. I was so nervous that it would be awkward, and truth be told, I almost wanted to cancel the whole thing. We had met when I was relaxed, tan, thinner, and it was summer...everyone is happy in the summer! Now he would see me pale, stressed, rounder...I didn't know if I was ready to lose the summer's magic.

We met up and said hello as if we'd left each other the day before. There were the inevitably awkward first few moments, but from then on, we clicked the way we did through our emails, and it turned out the couple-hating Frenchie with the mysterious air is quite a softie. He was all around cute, and even made my still heart skip a beat when he told me "You're part of my life now...you moved me."

The goodbye stung once again; I of course wanted it all to last a little longer, as I'm sure he did too. But it was what it was, and we're now back to our lives. And in my post-holiday blues, I'm left asking myself the questions millions of girls ask themselves.

Am I building up this fling in my head, making it more ideal than it really is, because we are away from each other? Maybe this could be something great, and we're just letting it slip by? Maybe maybe maybe...who knows.

Meanwhile, Frenchie has slightly restored my faith in fun, interesting and slightly unconventional men, and for that I'm grateful. I needed to be looked at the way he looked at me, I needed to be spoken to the way he spoke to me, I needed to laugh the way he made me laugh....without all the relationship drama.

Post mini-break

2007-01-25T22:37:00.000+04:00

So, instead of dealing with the fact that I am bored shitless of Abu Dhabi and my job like a big girl should, I just took a vacation!

YAY!

I flew to my beloved land of cows, Switzerland, to visit a friend I haven't seen in a couple of years, and just to generally get some well-deserved R&R. My friend and her husband live right across the border in France (little town called Bon en Chablais), in the country! Their lovely little home was so warm and cosy I did not leave it for the first three days, during which I gorged myself with cheese, coldcuts, wine and chocolate!

It also helped that they own the most vocal cat in the world, Max. I swear, I could have conversations with him for hours! The night before I left, he just barged into the bathroom while I was taking a wee and just sat there miawing at me....a little unnerving, but very cute!
All in all, the trip was extremely relaxing and a nice change of scenery. Geneva can be quite dead in the winter, but it didn't seem to bother me one bit. I'm feeling the post-holiday blues now for more than one reason, which I may (or may not) tell you all about soon ;)

And just because, here's a picture of my favourite part of flying :)

Lines of time...

2007-01-06T19:09:00.000+04:00

I’m thinking that it’s a momentous and unnerving event the day a girl buys her first anti-wrinkle cream. Girl? What am I saying…woman. Buying an expensive and possibly useless age-defying cream is one more step taken into that much sought-after womanhood. I’ve often wondered what makes a woman, well, a woman. Boobs? Check. Hips? Check. Boyfriends? Check. Broken heart? Check. Job? Check. Wrinkles? Not quite check.

Enter New Year’s Eve, this one night where everyone is supposed to have a great time and look their best. Don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those ‘new-year’s-is-so-overrated’ cynics; I was partying it up, holding my liquor like a woman should, dancing with everyone in the room and making out with a crush. All was well in my world and 2007 seemed to be settling in quite nicely. That was until the age thing came up.

I’m 26, loud and proud, and have looked 26 for the past 10 years or so. I got in to clubs at 14, bought alcohol and cigarettes freely, and have never ever been ID-ed. Finally, I thought I was settling into my look, my skin, my face. But BAM: on new year’s eve, a new friend told me I looked 5 years older than my youthful 29 year old sister (sorry DS!).

…..
…..
…..

Yes I almost didn’t recover. I have no problem looking older than my age, but having someone think I was over 30 was a bit of a reality check. The stresses of my young life have definitely begun to show on my face, and so the sun had barely dawned on the second day of the new year that I was already out looking for anything that would keep my face together.

And right when I lay my hand on the little jar filled with genetically engineered and scientifically enhanced hope, I felt old. Not like a woman….just old.

Happy Holidays

2006-12-25T11:56:00.000+04:00

Just in case anyone had any doubt that it's been too long since I last blogged: I just spent 10 minutes trying to remember my Blogger username and password....and I drew a blank! Had to ask good ol' Blogger to help me retrieve them...that's a little sad isn't it?

Thank you to the few who still drop by on occasion, even though I've been an absolutely terrible blogger. Merry Christmas and happy holidays to everyone, here's hoping that this season will bring some much needed peace to our lives.

Truth be told I've been uninspired to write so I don't want to pollute the blogosphere with useless and inane rants, but I promise I will try to get back in to it...if not, then I will announce my formal resignation from the blogosphere :)

Do know that I still read my favourite blogs regularly, even if I don't comment!
xo

the voices in my head

2006-10-28T22:32:00.000+04:00

We were discussing senses last night over a very yummy dinner (Rodeo Grill, I heart you!). The sense of smell mostly, and how powerful it is. I think I have a very good sense of hearing (knock on wood...lest I go deaf tomorrow). And I love, love, love voices. A person's voice is a big deal to me, especially with guys ;)

I was actually thinking about this the other night, while I layed on my bed, earphones connected to my laptop, downloading the music of my latest discovery, James Morrison. I'm listening to him as I type, and I'm in love. I loved his voice the minute I heard the song "One Last Chance", but I had no idea who he was or what he looked like. Hearing him and seeing him is quite disconcerting...not the voice you'd expect from a 20-something Brit. Check him out...ear candy!

Back in 2002, I 'interned' at Radio One (mainly to get through the really boring AD summer). The first person I was introduced to was Chris Moran, who was a long-time Capitol Radio/Radio One DJ/Producer/ladies' man. My jaw nearly fell to the floor when he opened his mouth. His voice was so deep, so sexy, so strong, and so British, I seriously could not focus on anything he was saying. Whenever he would walk into the room, I'd be in a complete trance. Seriously, his voice practically reverberated off the walls. Hmm...

Another voice that gets to me is Michael Bubble's. I think I was watching a movie the other night where his song "Home" was featured. Now his voice is generally not the kind that makes me weak in the knees (I'm into the hoarser, raspier kinda voices), but it gives me a really odd mixture of feelings. Most of the time, his voice sounds so sincere it makes my heart ache and almost makes me uncomfortable. Sexy in an unconventional way...

Other voices that make me feel all kinds of emotions: Jeff Martin's (lead singer for the Tea Party); it's so angry yet so soothing, and in some of their songs, there is so much emotion that his voice cracks sometimes and breaks my heart. Khaleeji singer Rashid Al Majid, gives me butterflies. James Hetfield (Metallica) makes me want to shed every inhibition I have. Gavin Rossdale (Bush), calming yet full of apprehension. David Gahan (Depeche Mode), haunts me. Mark Knopfler (Dire Straits)...the verbalisation of his guitar. J.R Richards (Dishwalla), infuriatingly sexy. Elvis Presley...he gives me fever. George Michael, so incredibly soothing. Trent Reznor (Nine Inch Nails), whatever kind of pain you've felt, he's probably felt it too.

(I do also love women's voices, but I'll reserve this post for all the men who send shivers down my spine.)

In need of balls

2006-10-11T12:09:00.000+04:00

I'm guessing there's something seriously wrong when I've opted to stay home from work and play pacman all day instead for the second time this week. No shit Sherlock...

I WANT TO QUIT!
All I want is someone to tell me 'come on, you can quit, don't worry, even if you haven't found another job yet, it's not the end of the world'. I am so freaked out about leaving my job and not having a back up, but I have really reached the limit of my patience.

I've been sleeping restless nights and waking up with that nauseous feeling in my gut, like the one I used to get going to primary school, knowing that I had Arabic class that day with the evil witch. I can no longer stand the thought of going into the office.

When did work become the primary focus of our lives? Why are we so freaked out about not having a job? I am educated, I have some experience, why wouldn't I find another job? I have the fortunate privilege of living with the family, so I am not really going to end up broke and on the street right away.

I know I haven't posted in ages and now I come back with a whiny post. But this is the reality of my life these days. Between doing the bare minimum at work, smoking sheeshas all night, eating iftar every other day and trying to avoid and outsmart Inkey, Blinkey, Pinkey and Clyde...I can only think of how much I want to leave my job and how miserable I am working with a bunch of unprofessional and unappreciative people.

I need to grow some balls (guys, how do you do it?) and just make a decision.

My 9/11

2006-09-11T17:14:00.000+04:00

I woke up, hungover and parched, stumbled to the living room, following my father telling me America was under attack. After watching in complete disbelief and in a hungover haze, I went to my room and cried. I cried for the the moment the planes hit the towers, I cried for the moment the towers fell, I cried for the look on people's face, and I cried for the people inside the towers and inside the planes.

Last night, as I was turning out for the night, I switched on to CNN to watch the 9/11 commemorations. I cried again. The images never fail to move me, and the chaos of that day never fails to give me goose bumps. But I think I cried for different reasons yesterday.

As I watched footage from that day five years ago, I couldn't help but wonder how the American people must feel now, now that we have more information, now that we know just how corrupt the American government is. I whole-heartedly believe that the American government was in on this, and had I been an American, I would feel like a complete fool.

I hate myself for feeling anything when I see the dramatic images from 9/11. After all, this kind of carnage happens everyday in my country, in my friend's countries, and the world stands by in silence. No memorials, no services, no songs, no wreaths, no tears for the people of the Middle East. It's a given...the Middle East is an unstable region, with people getting killed day in and day out...surely we couldn't hold a memorial every single day.

But the people who died on 9/11 were just as innocent as the people dying in the Middle East. On top of everything, they were and still are duped by their despicable leaders. 9/11 did change the world, but not in the self-centered way the US believes it did.

My world was changed because I started to wake up to the fact that I could no longer be naive about international politics. I was 20 years old...it might have been a little late, but I'd always wanted to believe in the good of people.

My world was changed because us Arabs became targets...it was our time now, just like the Native Indians, the African Americans, the Jews...before us. I had hoped I'd never see the day we'd become stereotyped, but here we are, living it.

As the commemorations went on yesterday, CNN showed images of almost every leader in the world offering support for the Americans during a tragic time. Muslims, Jews, Christians banded together to pray for the victims. But look what the US has done now...it has alienated almost anyone who ever offered any kind of sympathy and made the world a more divided, chaotic and depressing place.

As I watched Bush lay wreaths at Ground Zero, I hoped for a moment of pure madness where he would just explode and admit to his mistakes. This man must have a heavy, heavy conscience...standing at the place he helped destroy with blood on his hands. The blood of Americans, the blood of Iraqis, the blood of Lebanese, the blood of Palestinians.

We've come quite a long way in 5 years...Bravo Bush and friends...you've managed to fool the world and your people into believing that you are protecting them. Let's hope your little scenario and your overstayed welcome end soon.

Spetses

2006-08-25T21:54:00.000+04:00

Having been on a boat for far too long and not getting proper sleep for 3 consecutive nights, I completely crashed throughout the 4 hour boat trip to Spetses...seriously, I don't think I'd ever slept so soundly outside a bed!

M and I got off the ferry at Dapia in Spetses, the island's tiny 'capital'. The island was bustling...we were approaching August 15, a big Christian holiday, and definitely a big holiday for the Greeks. It seemed like half of Athens was on Spetses during that long weekend!

(Water taxis at Dapia harbour)

We struggled a little to find a hotel, but ended up staying in a really shitty hotel room for another 50 euros a night. There was no natural light at all in that room...it was awful, but surprisingly, we spent the most time indoors in that room! I think we were just completely spent from all the excitement of the 2 weeks that had gone by.

Anyway, we put our bags down and crashed for a good 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Once up, we headed out to explore the town...and it was really tiny, with motorbikes and scooters everywhere. There are no cars allowed on Spetses, and you needed a motorbike license to rent scooters...so we were a little screwed!

Pine-covered Spetses really is not your stereotypical Greek island. Its architecture is Venetian-influenced, so that was quite a change from all the white and blue domes from everywhere else. We crashed early that night after dinner on the harbour.

Next morning, the two non-athletes rented bicycles and headed for Vrellos beach. The uphills were quite a struggle, and in the midst of the midday Greek sun, there were many a time I thought I was going to die on the spot. We stopped off at another beach on the way to Vrellos and chilled for a while. Vrellos wasn't too far off, and we could hear the music pumping from way up the hill!

Typical young hangout with a bar, good house music and loaaads of Greeks getting away from the big cities for the weekend. We cycled back at the end of the day through the woods, had a shower, went out for dinner and settled on a beach-side bar for drinks.

A nice young man came to chat to us, telling us he worked there and that they would be having a karoeke night later on. Turns out he was a Canadian from Toronto, and since M and I both lived in Montreal at one point, we bonded a little with karoeke man. We eventually headed up to the karoeke bar, drank way too much, danced our hearts out again...and ended up singing Summer of 69 with the Canadian!

One song lead to many others...We sang I will Survive with 2 Greek guys, Wake me up Before You Go Go with a German, a Serbian and a Frenchman, and for the grand finale, a group of us sang Can't Take my Eyes Off You. We of course made complete fools of ourselves, but it was the most fun I'd had in a while!

The next morning was naturally a little rough, but M and I managed to get our butts on a little boat excursion to a couple of beaches. The day was quite uneventful as M and I took turns falling asleep in the shade...by the end of the trip, we were hiding from the sun, it was just too hot!

Back in Dapia that evening, we hopped on a horse-drawn carriage to go to the Old Harbour for dinner and drinks. The place was lovely, but we ate at the most expensive restaurant we'd been to in 2 weeks and had really shitty food. We headed to a club afterwards but I could hardly keep my food down, so we left and walked back to our hotel for some much needed shut eye.

(Old Harbour)

Our last day in Spetses was also very chilled out. We had a late breakfast, shopped around for last minute gifts in the afternoon, had an early dinner and headed back to the hotel to pack our stuff and sleep some more. I know, lazy...but things had winded down nicely by then.

The next morning it was off to the port for our boat to Athens, and I can't say we didn't leave heavy-hearted. We got to Athens airport 5 hours before our flight as there was no way we were going to lug our backpacks around a very hot Athens, and besides, it would have only made the goodbye to Greece that much tougher...

It was my first trip with my friend M and it was really quite the experience. I was a little apprehensive before leaving...new place, no fixed itinerary, possible fights from spending too much time together. But I was incredibly pleased with the way things turned out between us and the things we saw. A lot of times I would sit there with incredible views before my eyes and think of Abu Dhabi and how far away it seemed.

It's hard to imagine that such beauty exists in the world when you're living in a place that's mostly devoid of any soul...but I count myself lucky that I'm able to see the world at all.

Milos

2006-08-23T00:49:00.000+04:00

After a 5 hour boat ride to Milos' port of Adamas and very little sleep the night before, M and I were hoping to find a hotel very quickly. But rather than the usual greeting by dozens of men holding up boards advertising their hotels, we were met with a bustling tourist office, lined with people struggling to find a place to stay.

Milos island was filled to capacity...there wasn't a single room available. At the tourist office, M and I met two French girls who'd gotten in on the same ferry as us and were also looking for a place to stay. We decided to all look for a place together, so we hopped in a taxi and headed for the town of Pollonia.

(More squid the Greek way in Pollonia)

One of the girls and I stayed with the luggage, while M and the other girl went in opposite directions to find a vacant hotel room. They both came back with nothing, except the French girl had been told by one guy at a hotel to come back in an hour or so, as they would maybe have a free room for 4. We went for a bite to eat and a cup of coffee, headed back to that hotel to harass the guy at the reception, but still, he couldn't tell if the room would be available or not.

We arrived to Milos at 11 am, and it was 6 pm by the time we finally got that hotel room in Pollonia. I was so happy I was about to lunge across the reception desk and hug the poor guy we harassed. For 120 euros a night, it was a good deal for the four of us. Meanwhile, we'd met a couple of French guys who had been on the island for 2 nights and had slept on the beach because they couldn't find a place to stay.

(Pollonia harbour)

As M and I walked back from an early dinner that evening, one of the French guys spotted us and asked us if they could take a shower at our place. We happily obliged, and ended up going out with them for drinks later that night. They ended up crashing at our place as well, albeit on the floor :) At least they had a roof over their heads!

Next morning after breakfast, we headed off to a beach (of which the name I forget). It was a gorgeous, burning-hot, pebbled beach. We walked to the end of it where it was the most secluded and enjoyed the gorgeous view. M, one of the French guys and I swam out along the coast for about an hour or so, until we reached a completely secluded beach, stopping off in little grottos on the way there.

(Gorgeous beach...name I forget?)

I didn't think we'd make it back alive...I'm not the most athletic of people and we were really quite far off from where we'd started. We began the trek back after resting on the secluded beach for a while, and rather than swim the whole way, we hiked most of it on the coast's really raggedy rocks. I cut myself more times than I care to remember and scraped my butt on those rocks a fair amount of times. Seriously, I didn't think I'd make it back. We swam against strong waves the last 15 mins, and I was this close to giving up...but we made it! And it was quite an exhilirating experience.

Back on shore, we headed to a little Greek restaurant overlooking the beach. We headed back to Pollonia while the guys went back to their newfound hotel room in Adamas. They picked us up later on that night and we went out to a bar in Adamas, then we set out to look for a club for a little boogie. Strangely enough, it seems the nightlife happens outside on the streets rather than in the clubs, where people line the walls with their drinks and socialise.

By 4 am I was famished so we headed to a little creperie, and I only got to bed by 7 am. Three hours later we were up and headed for yet another beach (forget the name again!). I slept in the shade most of the time, until we headed off to Sarakiniko beach to watch the sunset. WOW! That beach is quite unusual as it seriously looks like the surface of the moon. It's a white rock beach that is a true testament to Milos' volcanic nature. The sunset was even more spectacular than in Santorini.

(Sarakiniko beach)

Later that night, we were off to Milos' capital, Plaka, for dinner and drinks. It wasn't too much of a late night as the next day, we'd planned an all day boat excursion to see Milos' most beautiful beaches, that are inacessible by land. We were off at 10 am and stopped off at 3 different spots. We couldn't stop saying 'wow'. Really, we were in complete awe of the island's beauty and diversity.

At the first stop we swam about in the caves for about an hour. Next stop, Kleftiko, was a 2-hour one, with lunch on the sail boat. The last stop was a half hour long at Agio Dimitrio. Only the pictures can do justice to the beauty of those places.

(Kleftiko)

(Our sail boat)

(I've yet to see more beautiful waters...)

(Church at Agio Dimitrio)

By 7 pm we were back on dry land and had to get showered and ready for our overnight ferry ride back to Athens at 11pm, in order to catch a boat to our last destination, Spetses, in the Saronic Gulf islands. The two French guys were on the same ferry back to Athens; we found a few free seats and ended up crashing until we reached Piraeus at 6 am. I am truly surprised I did not get sea-sick after being on a boat all day and then all night.

It was goodbye to the two Frenchmen in Athens, and M and I caught the boat to Spetses shortly after.

Santorini

2006-08-23T00:19:00.000+04:00

Off we were on a huge old ferry to Santorini. We didn't have assigned seats, so we sat on the upper deck for a little while, until we nearly suffocated from the heat and drenched our clothes in sweat. We snuck back into the cabin and found a couple of free seats, and we caught up on the news of the world for the first time since we'd left Abu Dhabi.

As we approached Santorini, we headed out to the deck as the island is known for its dramatic coast...and truly, it was a spectacular sight. The port was tiny and very busy, we quickly caught a bus and were headed for Oia (pronounced ee-ah) to look for a place to stay, when a guy from the international bunch we'd met in Paros sent us a text message telling us they'd booked a hotel in the Firostephani area and that they'd be arriving the next night.

So we got off at Firostephani at about 4 pm, smack in the middle of siesta time. The streets were oh so quiet, and we could see Santorini's caldera in all its glory. We put our bags down and M went off to look for a hotel while I guarded our luggage. It was so peaceful and so, so pretty.

M managed to snag a great deal for 2 nights in a hotel called the Blue Dolphin. For one night we'd get a standard room for 50 euros, and the second night, the lovely man in charge was going to give us a 200-year old cave room, also for 50 euros a night. Original price: 200 euros a night!! Firostephani is quite an expensive area in Santorini, so we were extremely lucky!

(M and I on our hotel terrace...and I'm no longer blonde!)

We quickly showered and headed off to Oia, where people gather to watch the famed Santorini sunset. We walked the little streets, stopped at the many jewellery stores, bumped into one of my sister's classmates from Montreal (tiny, tiny world!) and then settled on a rooftop restaurant to watch the sunset. We were surrounded by couples, and M and I quickly felt out of place. Santorini is known as a honeymoon destination, and we were worried the romance would quickly alienate us.

(Santorini sunset from a rooftop restaurant in Oia)

The sunset was of course spectacular, and then we kept walking Oia's little streets for a good few hours. M pointed out that all restaurants were set up for couples with only tables for two...all we could do was laugh at the fact that we were in one of the most romantic places in the world together...two girls...really, I was this close to falling in love with her :p

We crashed like logs that night, got up the next morning to a fog-covered island and had breakfast on the terrace. We moved our stuff into our cave room, which was unbelievable! It was huge! Once the fog cleared, we headed down to the capital, Fira, to catch the bus to Kamari beach, a black pebbled beach that got so hot we felt the burn through our towels. I have to say though, I did not like Fira at all...it was filled with tourists and felt very dirty for some reason...definitely not something I expected to see in Santorini.

(Kamari beach)

After a few hours of sun-lounging, we made our way back to the bus stop to head back to Firostephani to meet up with the international bunch. We joined them at their hotel, had a bottle of wine and headed back to the Kamari area, where the beach front is lined with pubs and clubs. We got some drinks and walked along the strip, stopped off at a few places before settling on a club called Albatros, where YMCA was blaring from the speakers. Just what we wanted, cheesy music!

We drank countless watermelon Bacardi breezers and danced our hearts out to really good cheesy music before heading back to our cave in the wee hours of the morning. I would have loved nothing more than to sleep off my hangover, but we had to check out of our cave and find another hotel room for the night.

(Our 3rd hotel room in Firostephani)

So off we were to the corner coffee shop for some much needed caffeine and a good breakfast, and we found a hotel right across for 55 euros a night. Very basic cute room with of course, a view on the caldera. We hung out at the international bunch's hotel pool all day and drank some wine, had a siesta and then met up to walk up to one of the volcana rocks.

(View from the international bunch's hotel pool deck)

The walk up was spectacular, and we passed through the town of Imerovigli, one of Santorini's poshest and most romantic areas. We reached St George's chapel way up top and my fear of heights was definitely acting up...the view was really breathtaking. M and two of the guys walked to the volcano rock, while the girl and I hung out by the chapel to watch the sunset.

(View on the walk to the volcano rock)

(The volcano rock)

(Sunset as seen from volcano rock)

Back in Firostephani, we headed to a restaurant for one last meal with the international bunch. We said goodbye to a couple of the guys, while the Cypriot and his sister came back to our hotel room to hang out a little longer. M and I went to bed around 2 AM, and were up at 4 am to catch our 6 am ferry to our next destination, Milos.

Paros

2006-08-22T20:25:00.000+04:00

I arrived to Athens early in the morning and took a taxi to my hotel at Omonia Square. I'd done some research and knew that the area wasn't exactly posh, but when the taxi driver told me "Be careful at night, lots of immigrants...Albanians"...I kind of freaked out.

My friend M wasn't due to arrive until later in the evening, so I had the day to myself. Got to the hotel and wanted to check in, but the very aggressive man behind the counter said I couldn't check in for another couple of hours. I headed straight to the nearest internet cafe to put down my uncomfortable backpack and read Gulf News online (I know...sad!)

I'll skip the Athens part as I really didn't do much, but the hotel was AWFUL! A hole in the wall really...I couldn't wait till M got there and it was a huge relief to see her! We slept early that night, as we had to be up at 4 am to catch our 7 am ferry from Piraeus port to the island of Paros.

(Parikia's busy harbour)

I was a little nervous about being on so many boats as motion sickness can get to the best of us...but luckily, the 4-hour boat trip to Paros' capital Parikia went smoothly. As soon as we were off the boat, we were met with dozens of people holding up boards advertising their hotels. I know we should have shopped around more, but we went with the first guy who told us about a little hotel called Fransisco's, where we found a cute little room with a balcony for 50 euros a night.

(view from our hotel room in Parikia)

We settled in, made ourselves at home and headed straight to the beach for some much needed tanning. Parikia didn't strike me as particularly pretty, but it had a really nice, laid back attitude to it. Lots of international tourists, not many Greeks...The beach was also so-so, but at that point, we couldn't believe we were finally on our holiday.

As we braved the chilly waters and got a little shut eye on the sand, I think M and I started to feel right at home. Just then, we saw a group of guys and a girl we'd spotted on the ferry from Athens. We got around to chatting to them and exchanged phone numbers (don't even remind me about my upcoming roaming bill!)

M and I went out for dinner at a little taverna that night. Naturally, I had calamari and ouzo :) Except 2 consecutive nights of very little sleep and a glass of strong ouzo got to me very quickly, so I headed back to the hotel for some shut eye, while M went to walk around the market.

(Squid...the Greek way)

Turns out that M bumped into the guys from the beach that night, and told them we'd meet up with them for breakfast. The international bunch (as we ended up calling them) consisted of a German, a Lithuanian, two Cypriots and an Australian. After breakfast we headed off to Punda beach on their scooters. It wasn't really our idea of a gorgeous Greek island beach as it was more of a thumping music and drinks kinda beach, but it was fun nonetheless.

(Punda beach)

Later that night, we walked to Parikia's main square to look for a place to eat, and settled on a little cafe nestled in the market's sinewy streets. We headed back to the international bunch's hotel room after saying goodbye to the German who was leaving that night, chit chatted for a while and then went back to our hotel. It was so lovely to walk around everywhere, and at 5 am, in the dark and silence of that night, M looked at me and said: "Don't you feel like we live here and we're just walking back from a friend's place?"

Really, we felt right at home.

Next morning we met up with the international bunch for breakfast again before heading for Livadia beach, across from Parikia's main harbour. The place was quiet, with big white couches under palm trees and great music playing in the background. Not exactly authentic, but definitely idyllic. That night, we headed back to that same beach, where the area turns into a lounge/restaurant kinda place. Extremely romantic...but definitely enjoyable. We had the unavoidable discussion about politics which kinda killed the holiday buzz for a good hour, but all was not lost as we made our way back to the international bunch's hotel once again for some more drinks and cheesy French-music.

(Livadia Beach by night)

We said our goodbyes as they were headed off to Mykonos next...but not for long, as we were due to join them in Santorini a few days later.

M and I spent the next day in Paros' Naoussa village, a gorgeous little place. We walked for what seemed like lightyears to find a beach under the Greek islands' relentless sun. Seriously, the UAE sun has nothing on the sun there! We chilled on the beach and went for our first topless experience. Needless to say, liberating!

(Naoussa village)

Waiting for the bus to go back to Parikia that evening, M and I were badgered into feeling like two old farts by the hundreds of swarming 16-19 year olds hanging out in Naoussa. For the first time in my life, I really felt old, and really felt insecure in the presence of people who are probably 300 times more insecure than I am.

Back at our hotel in Parikia, I crashed from too much sun, too much walking, and feeling too old, while M went out and did some last minute shopping before we left for Santorini the next day.

Yassas!

2006-08-22T20:21:00.000+04:00

I'm back!

What 2 weeks away from this place can do to you...I so needed that vacation!

I teetered back and forth between wanting to write about my trip or not, but I decided I would...if only to anchor the memories for a little longer :)

I'll separate the posts in 4, as my friend M and I visited 4 islands. We didn't get up to much cultural stuff, but it was an experience nonetheless.

Hope you enjoy the virtual tour!

Edit: Having trouble posting any pics! Will keep trying!

around

2006-07-31T11:09:00.000+04:00

I've been M.I.A for a while now, only because I've felt the need to live my life and not write about it for a while. Strangely enough, the only writing I've done in the past couple of months has been purely for work...leaving thousands of thoughts swirling in my head or just coming out in appropriate places.

I am now in Athens, been here for a couple of hours. I'm finally on vacation, almost a year to the day since I last left the UAE. I've been on edge lately and would have definitely burned out had I not taken a vacation. So I'm here now, and it's weird!

I'm waiting for my friend to arrive this afternoon, and starting tomorrow morning (very early), we will begin our holiday on the Greek islands. I can't wait!
Can't say I'm excited about Athens strangely enough...the last thing I want is a big city. I want a beach, a drink, the sun, and some hot men (never hurts :)

I doubt I'll be able to post often, but just thought I'd check in.
Opa!

world on fire

2006-07-14T21:56:00.000+04:00

The world of millions of Arabs is on fire...Lebanon, Palestine, Israel, Iran, Syria...who the hell knows what's next.

I, like millions of others, have been helplessly watching the news over the past couple of days, watching a war unfold right before my very eyes, a war which seems to have crept up out of nowhere. But I should know better, that this is something that has been coming for years.

The world is watching Israel carry out what it claims is punishment for the kidnapping of three of its soldiers...and part of the world believes that Israel has the right to defend itself. Yes, killing innocent civilians and destroying a land that is struggling to rebuild after years of abuse is the right punishment for the capture of soldiers who are trained to fight...in our twisted reality of a world.

I have friends and family in Lebanon...I have family and friends in Haifa and Acre...how much more torn can I feel? Hassan Nassrallah has just spoken and has promised to carry on this war that the Israelis have so cruelly instigated..."Haifa and beyond" he said...

I can only say that my heart goes out to all those suffering at the hands of blood-hungry idiots, but that won't change a single thing. I am holding my breath, praying for the best, but definitely jaded enough to expect the worst.

...shake shake the room

2006-06-29T12:31:00.000+04:00

Once again last night, I blamed the noises in my room on my complete paranoia.

The walls crackled, my door crackled several times...I jumped from my comfortable late night TV watching thinking someone was attempting to infiltrate my bedroom at 1 am. But to my knowledge, everyone in the house was asleep.

So I now know I'm not crazy, they were tremors. And I never thought I'd live to tell that I felt tremors from an earthquake.

I always worry about buildings crumbling, especially out here. Tremors in the UAE are more and more common these days...creepy! Our infrastructure is surely not sturdy enough.

Did anyone else feel it?

retreat

2006-06-26T21:27:00.000+04:00

Definitely not TBTB...quite the contrary, summer is upon us and the grueling heat has made me almost lethargic. Work is slowing down, friends have escaped the heat for a few days...and I feel like I've retreated into a little world of my own.

It can be a little boring at times, but I do somewhat enjoy this slowing down in pace. And I've had this thirst for reading, music and movies that hadn't hit me for a while.

I've gone from reading a book about trashy tabloid journalism to Jean Paul Sartre's 'Nausea', I've watched countless episodes of Sex and the City and the very moving documentary 'Born into Brothels', I've downloaded all kinds of music...I guess I needed to fill my mind and soul with things other than men, work, and the bloody heat.

And of course, I've been following the World Cup as religiously as a girl can. I've been in my Italian jersey all day and while I'm ecstatic at their 1-0 win over Australia, I do feel bad for the Aussies. They played a great game, and had me shaking in my boots at the thought of Italy being eliminated.

And just because I will never really be that spiritual and non-shallow...:) Feast your eyes on this beautiful man.

(Luca Toni)

money money money

2006-06-17T21:49:00.000+04:00

During a month which you'd think is quite dead...I've spent more money than I have any other month this year. A few more outings than usual, eating more food to console myself during hard times, a pair of sunglasses that finally suits me...You know the deal.

But I have a tale to tell...the tale of the most expensive lobster I've ever had.

Wednesday night, I went out with a friend for a couple of drinks. He'd warned me he had forgotten his wallet, which was not a problem...we regularly buy each other rounds, and I have no qualms about buying (I am a working woman after all...)

A few drinks later, the hunger pangs began. We left the bar and drove by the Sheraton hotel. Suddenly, all I could think of was a meal I'd had at their seafood restaurant, Il Paradisio. I'd gone there once before to celebrate my best friend's birthday, whose mom ended up footing the bill. I had no idea how much the lobster I'd had then had cost, but judging from the price of appetizers and the likes, I didn't think it was exhorbitant.

My friend tried to dissuade me from going there, as he figured it would be a little pricy. But I thought hey...what's the most I'll end up paying, 400-500 dhs tops?? No problem...nothing like living luxuriously sometimes. It was almost 11 pm, we were the only ones there...perfect. Without even thinking about it, we both ordered lobsters with lemon butter sauce. Needless to say, they were exquisite.

The waitress didn't quite know who to give the bill to...I grabbed the check, and I really, really wish my friend could have recorded my reaction. I didn't even want to double check with the waitress that she hadn't made a mistake...would have been too embarassing for the guy who'd forgotten his wallet. The bill added up to ONE THOUSAND AND FIFTY SIX DIRHAMS....yes, 1056...for two lobsters, a bottle of water, and a rum and coke. 1056...1056...1056...

In a split second, I thought of all the things I could have done with that amount of money...the clothes, the drinks, the trips, the lobsters I could have had elsewhere...I payed with a big lump in my throat...there was nothing I could do about it, but goddamn, 1056!!??

Anyway, I've tried to forget about this incident...but it almost makes me laugh everytime I think about it. My friend has no idea how much I payed, but I've saved the receipt for a day when he owes me BIG TIME :P

I've eaten at some very expensive restaurants and had some exquisite meals, most of which have been payed for. But I am almost certain that I've never had such an expensive meal. This is ridiculous...sure, both our lobsters amounted to 2.2 kilos, but you'd think they were covered in caviar at that price.

Phew...I feel better having shared this incident...although I am really trying hard to forget it. Please, please, pretty please, don't make me feel worse about it :)

surfacing

2006-06-14T12:18:00.000+04:00

I may be finally emerging from under the dark cloud...it's been an emotional and difficult few days, for no particular reason whatsoever. I guess sometimes, things add up, and you just can't keep up a front anymore.

On the other hand, I guess my immune system's been shot by the stress I've been feeling, as I now have a cold! Nooooo! The last time I had a major cold was last October. I'd broken up with my boyfriend a couple of months before and was still getting over it...For some reason, the really hard part came in October; I was so sick even my dad felt sorry for me. I cried every tear that I'd stocked up in my body. Weird things came out of my nose and throat...I was in a complete daze for a week. I really think it was my body purging itself from all the feelings I'd had pent up.

I really believe in the powers of emotions wrecking havoc on your body...

Anyway, I've taken the day off work today...I'm not that sick, just didn't feel like going to the office, plus it'll give me a long weekend of sorts...

Things with the guy that's been messing with my head have calmed down as well...through your comments and some thought, I snapped myself back to reality and just told myself I really didn't need to be the victim every time. I know exactly what to expect of him now and I'll go along with it until I feel I am going to get hurt. This by no means implies that I will not get hurt, but I'm fully aware that I can be in control if I really want to. I've been with some absolutely horrible men...this is nothing I can't handle :)

multiple choice

2006-06-07T18:53:00.001+04:00

Men:

- are scum?
- are players?
- are sensitive?
- are torn?
- want to be with you but know they might hurt you?
- don't text you all day because they don't give a shit?
- don't text you all day because they feel bad?
- want their egos massaged and forget about you when they've gotten their fix?
- spend all night texting you while they're out a bar even though they don't want to be with you?
- leave their friends for a few minutes to call and check up on you when you've had a bad day even though they don't want to be with you?
- say they feel a certain closeness to you that they don't feel with others, yet don't want to pursue something more serious?

My very own personal conclusion at this time is that men are full of shit...or this man in particular.

He's by no means an asshole, just not fully realising how his actions are messing with my head.

Meanwhile, he's most likely having a great day, while I can hardly find a billion other things to do to keep my mind off reaching for that phone...

One thing I am certain of...women are: idiots.

somewhere in the middle

2006-06-05T20:47:00.000+04:00

I'm sitting in my bathrobe with a clay mask on my face...my skin seems to be suffering the consequences of my stress lately. I've eaten every oily food in the house in the past three hours, and I've got a box of chocolate chip cookies waiting its turn. I've smoked cigarette after cigarette, even though my throat hurts.

I'm having a shitty day again. Contrary to what my recent posts may suggest, it hasn't been all bad lately. But when it's bad, it seems the snowball effect just kicks in.

I had a great night last night, partied a little too much for a weeknight. This morning was of course going to be rough, but I managed. The more the day went along, the more tired, hungry, frustrated, annoyed I became. And right at the end of the day, a work issue came up. I've been feeling like crap since.

I also feel like crap because men are tiring me. The past few weeks have been a rollercoaster of butterflies with one guy, and things seem to be waning now...before they've even really begun. I so want to believe his reasons...but my gut is telling me to stay guarded.

I need to sleep. I need a hug. I need great food. I need pleasant weather. I need to believe that tomorrow is another day...

sleepless

2006-05-27T02:03:00.000+04:00

I can't sleep. I'm tired, but my mind is racing...I had a conversation earlier that left me unintentionally emotional, scared, and deeply reflective. I went to bed and the tears just came...

I still want to cry, and a few tears are rolling down now and then...I'm so confused about my life; you shut out something long enough, it will resurface with a vengeance.

I don't know what I'm lacking in my life, but I feel like there's this big hole inside my soul. I need passion...and I don't mean just romantic passion, but a passionate life.

This place is deadening every nerve of my being, when all I want to do is break out and live.

the game

2006-05-24T21:58:00.001+04:00

Men...one little word, with so many implications.

Men can get me so high, and drop me to within an inch of my life the next moment. My flailing confidence has been shaken up one too many times by men, and each and every time I swear it will never happen again.

But people don't change. They learn, they become more guarded, but what's inherent will never go away. I fall easily and I get hurt, and like millions out there, I pick myself up and do it all over again.

I really do wish I could erase the bad stuff I've gone through with men and enjoy a new guy like I've never been hurt before; I'm so guarded and skeptical now, everyone around me sees it. I was never like this, I was so open and trusting with everyone, an extreme that also led me to trouble's way.

I just don't want to be at the other extreme. When a guy tells me that my insecurity is beautiful, I want to believe him with every insecure fibre of my body. I don't want to get ahead of myself and think of all the pain I may have to go through if this were to develop...but what relationship, long or short, but well-lived and fully explored, doesn't hurt?

It's all part of the game, and I am well aware of that. I just wonder whether I'm ready to get hurt again...in the game of men, women always end up hurt one way or the other. But it's fun, it's exciting, and I'm feeling the much sought-after butterflies...

multiple personality disorder

2006-05-16T23:24:00.000+04:00

Is it just me, or do people take on different personalities around different people?

Case in point, the office, with my all male colleagues.

With my Lebanese colleague, I'm comfortable, chatty, teasing, but I remain conservative. He will never hear my 'stories'.

With my newly arrived Egyptian colleague, I'm guarded but friendly.

With the amazing Indian, I'm philosophical, literary, more mature.

With the Brit, I'm fascinated, naive, open, and he's learned more about me in a month than the Lebanese has in almost a year. I'm as comfortable with him as I am with my girlfriends. He will definitely be hearing my stories.

I've never been one to mould my personality to suit people's needs. My dad would actually testify to the contrary, I'm quite headstrong and generally don't take crap from anyone.
Is it age? Is it society? Why do I modify my very own personality around different people?

I noticed this today while having a very work-inappropriate conversation with the Brit, and the minute the Lebanese guy arrived, I switched into conservative mode. I guess living here long enough makes you realise that despite how much you don't give a crap about what people think, you have to give a crap about what people think.

This is a small city. I've heard things about myself that I didn't even know I did, and the same goes for many people who've been around here a while. In my teenage years, I did all the things raging teenagers do. But now that I'm a 'working woman', these things creep up out of nowhere, and you never know when.

It's so weird, I never thought I'd watch anything I did for fear of it having repercussions on my reputation. Am I a hypocrit, am I being too careful, or am I doing the right thing?

Palestine humanised

2006-05-14T22:32:00.000+04:00

The famed Ramallah-based Al Kasaba Theatre group payed a visit to Abu Dhabi last week to perform their award-winning play, Alive From Palestine: Stories Under Occupation.

The performances were simple, hilarious, sad, moving, disarming and ironic. The play came about after the theatre group took to the streets during the 2000 intifada to speak to the people and find a creative outlet for their plight.

The result was over 30 monologues, close to 20 of which were selected to make up Alive From Palestine: Stories Under Occupation.

Bar poor sound quality at the Abu Dhabi National Theatre and crying babies, the play was excellent; never too political, never disparaging and very often disarmingly funny. The group usually provides scrolling subtitles for non-Arabic speaking audiences, but this time around they provided us with a booklet. I can understand Arabic pretty well, but some of the accents (ie, the heavy Jerusalem accent) were too strong to follow.

The Al Kasaba Group has gone all over the world with their performances: Japan, Canada, US, UK, Australia, Sweden...At the press conference held the day before the performance, one of actors recounted a performance of Stories Under Occupation while in Brussels, during which the Israeli ambassador was attending. The actor rushed to speak to the ambassador at the end of his performance to ask him what he thought of the performance, to which the ambassador replied: "It was great, and these are dangerous words."

Dangerous in the sense that the Palestinian plight is humanised through the play, and becomes more than just a news item for the world to watch, ponder momentarily, and discard. Dangerous because the occupiers may see more than just pesky Palestinians intruding on their land. Dangerous because the rest of the world may begin to empathise with an overshadowed and forgotten population.

"We find time for entertainment, we play cards, or leaf through our tidings in yesterday's wounded papers. We read the horoscopes. For the year 2002, the cameras will smile for those born under the sign of the siege. Whenever yesterday comes to me I say: 'It's not time yet, go away, come back tomorrow.'" (excerpt from Alive From Palestine: Stories Under Occupation)

Chernobyl Legacy

2006-05-14T20:50:00.000+04:00

This is a very powerful and quite disturbing photo essay. (click on Chernobyl Legacy photo essay)

I've watched it twice today, and like millions out there I'm thinking: how could the world have let this happen?

It's so hard to believe that these lives are unfolding at the same time as our little comfortable lives.

Chernobyl Legacy
by Paul Fusco
"On April 26th, 1986, Chernobyl's Reactor No. 4 unleashed a thoroughly modern plague that emptied cities, condemned entire regions, and seeped invisibly into the bodies of those exposed to its destructive presence.Photographer Paul Fusco faces the dark legacy of Chernobyl, focusing on the horrifying human consequences of the event that is now 20 years in the past."

hatin'

2006-05-13T22:01:00.000+04:00

I hate the abundance of neon lights in this city. Everywhere you look, green, red, yellow, pink are flashing around dizzyingly. How could anyone have thought that this actually looks good? I hate that there are hot pink buildings in Abu Dhabi. Everytime I see them, I want to throw up.

I hate that my boss refuses to open up his tiny brain and listen to anything any one of his employees has to say. I hate that I experience momentary lapses of sanity and believe him to be a good guy. I can repeat something to him three times, but he will forget it within five minutes and proceed to get me in trouble.

I hate that I have to tell a colleague to be on time three times a day for an appointment we have, yet he still shows up an hour late. I cannot stand that he has an excuse every single time. It's called time-management.

I hate that my friend doubts everything I say. I hate that I don't have enough confidence in my knowledge. I double-check myself and my facts, and I end up being right. But she doubted me in the first place.

I hate that she criticises a coffee shop that I like, and puts down everything from the curtains to the lights. When I tell her to stop criticising everything and enjoy, she is offended. Had it been the other way round, she wouldn't have tolerated me for 30 seconds.

I hate that all hell can break loose in my family and that the next day, everyone acts as if nothing has happened. Meanwhile, I've gone to the depths of my insanity and back and cried my heart out, but I'm expected to go along with the act.

I hate that my room -my sanctuary- is adjacent to our kitchen. I hate it because our housekeeper has the most annoying, high-pitched voice in the world, and she can never shut up when she's in there. It doesn't matter that I'm sleeping, trying to work or just hanging out, she won't shut up.

I really hate hating everything. Just one of them days...

summer tactics

2006-05-12T12:38:00.000+04:00

It's so hot.

Last night, from the 16th floor of a building on Hamdan street, the humidity was so strong that I could not see the building across the street. It's already suffocating, and we've only just begun.

Summer is here. Every time, I wonder how I survived the last one, and how on earth I am going to survive this one.

Chicane's "Autumn Tactics" is playing, and this song fills me with images of a fiery orange Mount Royal, of the teasing warmth of the Indian Summer, of the impeding winter. Maybe it will keep me cool for the next few months.

How wrong?

2006-05-09T16:08:00.000+04:00

I'm sure millions of men and women would love to see Becks milking it.

They wrote these headlines on purpose, right?

I'm a...

2006-05-05T23:02:00.000+04:00

I've got hundreds of thoughts swirling around in my head, none of which will come out. I miss writing, but I think my mind's in overdrive.

I'm listening to the latest of version of 'One' by U2 and Mary J. Blige. Just like Khalil Gibran's "The Prophet", this song takes on new meaning through every phase in my life.

"It's too late tonight, to drag the past out into the light..."

Too late for me to rehash my feelings and think of everything my ex meant to me only a year ago... All day, I've been thinking that it's his birthday today, yet I can't find it in me to send him an email. I've never been too proud, but I am this time around. A broken heart can breed a bitch.

If I can make it through the next hour of this day without breaking and sending him an email, I'll consider myself more of a bitch than I thought I was. And I don't think it's a bad thing.

pieces of me

2006-04-30T21:57:00.000+04:00

I'm feeling really restless tonight. All I wanted to do this afternoon after work was get home, slip into bed, and just do absolutely nothing. A half hour into doing nothing, I started feeling antsy.

The past week has been quite a busy one, between work, studying for my GRE, camping and a couple of occasional outings. I also met an out of town guy over the weekend, and it was nice to indulge in a little fling after so long.

I love the feeling of meeting a guy and sharing an experience with him, no matter how insignificant it is. Any feminists reading will want to crucify me for saying this, but the rush of meeting someone, even if it's just about an attraction, is just fun. I rarely experience that here, not because I'm picky, but because interesting people are really hard to find.

I'd hate to think my current melancholic state is only related to this, but I do think it plays a big role.

This feeling hits me once in a while, and I wallow in it for a day or two. I ask myself a million questions, I reminisce on days gone by, I wonder if my life was ever full enough that I never felt this way.

Probably not. But since I've been back to Abu Dhabi, I feel it more and more. Every few months, things build up and I seem to be having a great time. But then it all dies down, and I'm back to feeling like I'm merely existing, not living.

Maybe I'm just tired. I pull an all nighter one night and I need a week to recover; I feel old. I know it's a dumb thing to say at my age, but I do. Re-reading this post, I realise that my thoughts are disconnected, kinda all over the place. It'll all pull itself together eventually, and writing generally helps the piecing-my-life-together process.

not-so-happy campers

2006-04-29T08:43:00.000+04:00

I've been up since 7'30 am. I fell asleep at 7 pm last night. I could have slept another 5 hours, but my colleague woke me up with an urgent question and I did need to get up for work eventually. So I'm up, after 12 hours of blissful sleep.

I went camping with some friends this weekend, and I think we all felt like we had been away for days! We set out on Thursday afternoon, and the weather starting turning as we hit the little patch of open sea we needed to go through to get to Bahraini island. We met up with the other campers at one spot, and it was windy as hell so we were covered in sand in no time.

A couple of us set out to look for another, less windy, spot, as we were not too thrilled at the thought of eating sand all night. And we found another spot that was completely blocked off from the wind, except it was quite dirty and was surrounded by trees, filled with birds making really weird sounds. In the process, it rained on us twice.

Anyway, we finally set up camp around 7 pm and by then the large group that was supposed to join us had bailed because of the weather. We started drinking very early on and had a blast. Four of us decided to hit the water for a midnight dip, and I don't think I've laughed this much in a while. Midnight dips are somehow always linked to bathing suit snatchings, and luckily there was no moon, so the walk of shame up to the beach to find our stolen bathing suits was not too shameful. But I did manage to lose one half of my bikini to a very strong current, but luckily, I had packed an extra bathing suit. Hmm.

Anyway, I didn't get to sleep till sunrise, and almost everyone woke up between 7 and 8 am as the heat in the tents was just becoming unbearable. And it didn't stop there. It was sooooo hot yesterday, the sand was boiling and my feet are now damaged. The water out there was also colder than usual, so we were neither comfortable out on the sand, nor in the water. Also, Bahraini was PACKED with people, boats and annoying jet skis, so it wasn't a quiet day at all. Add that to a combination of no sleep and too much sun, and you get a slightly annoyed bunch of people.

Needless to say, yesterday was a very, very long day. I was so tired by the time I got home, I somehow managed to shower and get the ton of salt and sand off of me. I slipped into bed just hoping to browse the net for a while, but I was asleep within minutes. And I was too drunk at night and too dead during the day to take any photos. I just shot a few at the end of the day, so here's one of the marine traffic on Bahraini island (and that was really nothing, the other side was jam packed.)

The Passion

2006-04-26T23:03:00.000+04:00

Two years later and I finally watch The Passion of the Christ. I know, I'm late, but I hate watching movies in the midst of their hype. I usually end up disappointed.

So back to The Passion...I'm not sure what to think of it. I also don't know how to judge a movie to which we already know the ending. If anything, it helped me brush up on my Sunday school teachings (which I have to admit, are very, very rusty.) But the sheer violence of it all was a little more than what little ole' me can generally take.

I did sit through it all in the comfort of my bed, but there is no way I would have been able to stand it in a movie theater. And at the end of it, I was really creeped out. I squirmed around in my bed throughout the whole movie, and later had trouble falling asleep.

Not because I'm religious or anything, but all the blood and Satan's various forms really scared me. And I wonder if that was the point of the whole movie, to scare us into believing.

My general opinion is that clerics (of all faiths) too often use fear as a tactic to rally people to the faith. Believe or you will burn in hell, believe or you will suffer the way Jesus did. I've always had an aversion to those tactics, ever since the days I went to mass with my dad and listened to the priest preach endlessly about people not going to church enough. What was the point of saying that to the people who were already in church??

Anyway. Obviously, Passion was a very catholic portrayal of the last 12 hours of Christ's life. To think that the world is up in arms about Islamic fundamentalism, while fundamentalist Catholics are just as ideologically crazy.

It may be pretentious of me to form my own little way of believing. But I prefer to think of the higher powers as my friend, not as someone who will chastise me for every thing I do throughout my life. And I'm sure I'm not the only one to want to see religion and faith that way. I don't know one person of my generation who is a big believer...maybe it's time for clerics to reach out to youths who possibly want something to believe in. Fear just won't do it.

lover

2006-04-24T23:40:00.000+04:00

"I was hoping it was you."
It was me. I was secretly hoping the same thing. And it was him, in all his manliness and macho-ism. He quickly became everything I would crave in a man. Wit, brawn, and brazenly captivating.

We layed in the dark while he told me his story. Mine seemed like child's play comparatively. I listened, completely enthralled, a little appalled. Wit, brawn, and deeply troubled. How was I not going to fall for him?

Then he uttered the words that remain with me to this day. "It was so hard for you because you lost something that in your mind was perfect." He got me. Everything I had been trying to explain to myself, he figured out in days.

I restrained myself for weeks but it was inevitable. I wanted him all to myself, but he was an island. No woman was ever going to get to him, even if he chose her for the time being. It's been years since then, and I still think about him. I think about the mountains, I think about the impressions he left, both good and bad, I think about the night of my birthday, when the things to come were obvious though we had since broken up.

The night unfolded hazily and beautifully. He treated me like he loved me, although I was old enough to realise it was all a gorgeous seduction.

I never loved him, he never loved me. Yet he's still on my mind, and will remain the mystery of a man I hope I will one day find.

across the night

2006-04-21T23:44:00.000+04:00

Today was a completely and utterly lazy Friday. I did absolutely nothing but lounge around in my PJs and listen to music all afternoon long. I transferred a bunch of music from my old and disintegrating laptop to my current one and became completely enthralled in the process.

Music affects me very much and with every song, memories and feelings came flooding back. Anyway, I came across this one song by Silverchair, called Across the Night. I remember the first time I heard it, I was a little taken aback.

It has such an odd feel to it, and very much a fragmented continuation. Had I not been listening with an open mind, I think I would have hated it. But something about it completely captured me. I was listening to it again today and was once again completely baffled by it. I read the lyrics over and over again, and they have a very uneasy feeling about them. All I could imagine was how tortured and tired the guy must have been while writing this song, as it just goes from one emotion to another.

I looked up its meaning and only found a couple of explanations. One saying its about singer Daniel Johns' dream, the other that its about his insomnia. Regardless, its a very theatrical song (as the video will also attest) that I believe really needs to be listened to with an open mind. Check it out, read the lyrics below, and let me know what you think of it and what explanations you may have for it.

Across the Night - Silverchair

Public beach = Never again

2006-04-20T18:40:00.000+04:00

So my friends and their family invited me out to a barbecue on the public beach somewhere behind Emirates Palace today. Never one to say no to a day by the sea and good food, I was of course in.

Shame on me, but I haven't been to a public beach in Abu Dhabi in lightyears. I now remember why.

It got a little warm, so my friend, her cousin and I ventured out to the wavy waters. The more we approached the water, the more violated we felt. By the time we were in, I wanted to hide under a rock far, far away in the ocean.

All violating eyes were on us, guys started making dumb and lewd comments like they'd never seen a girl in a swimming suit before. Except the beach was full of people, expats and non-expats, all in various degrees of revealing beach attire. I guess because we understand Arabic, the way we were being oggled at and the things that came out of these people's mouths really ticked us off.

I swear, we didn't even want to get out of the water anymore and walk back to our spot. But unless we wanted to to stay in the waters until nightfall when everyone would leave, we had to make a move. By the time I was safely wrapped in my towel again, I just wanted to hit everyone in sight.

I was telling my friend that they need cops to patrol the area, as a lot of cars also just pass by aimlessly to scope out the meat. But she said something rather interesting, that we probably shouldn't be hanging out in our bikinis on a public beach anyway.

I kinda see her point, but I don't think it's forbidden, is it? I do wonder whether the cops would side with us or them though, that's how little faith I have in things changing around here.

I've been in AD a very long time, and you'd think I'd get used to being visually violated, but I don't think I ever will. My friend and I quickly left the public beach after lunch, and I came home in a really shitty mood.

M updated

2006-04-18T21:00:00.000+04:00

It's been a while since I posted anything about former-crush M. I swear guys, I'm really not delusional nor do I have enough confidence to think men fall for me easily, but whenever I don't see him for a couple of days, I really feel like he actually misses me and is happy to see me again.

Also, whenever dad calls and I'm with M, dad gets this suspicious tone in his voice. I'm sure dad thinks we are dating. And whenever dad thinks I'm dating someone, we usually end up dating.

So M is now with a new girl. All I know from my trusty sources is that she is older (30s) and that she really isn't all that in the looks department (which of course, doesn't mean anything.) M won't divulge much info, despite my constant nagging for him to tell me about his conquests in order for me to juicify my date-less life.

And no I'm not fishing for info because I care. Really, I can go for days without speaking to him or seeing him, and he won't even cross my mind. Doesn't mean it doesn't put a smile on my face when he calls, but really, I am not emotionally attached in any way.

Sometimes the playfulness between us baffles me, and I'm sure that we come across as a couple to onlookers. My number one requirement in a guy I'm dating is playfulness, and by that I mean someone who gets my dumb jokes and who has a quick wit. I didn't necessarily have that with M when I first met him, but it's developped quite nicely.

We also argue playfully a lot, because he thinks I nag too much and sometimes (a lot of the time) he bugs me. I was supposedly nagging about something today when things got a little more heated but still in good fun and the words just slipped out of me. "Wow, there's a lot of tension between us," I said with my slyest look.

Hmm, I can think of many a thing to do about that tension, no? Answers on a postcard!
:)

I'm right here Stefano

2006-04-15T22:17:00.000+04:00

Ladies, ENJOY. Gentlemen, weep (or enjoy, if that's your fancy).

I was watching TV5 last night and this beautiful creature showed up on my tv screen. Stefano Accorsi took my breath away. He's an Italian actor who speaks French with the sexiest accent I've ever heard.

He may look YUMMY in the pic, but the live effect is even better. He's got a mouth and lips that would make me faint if he were to ever speak to me.

But of course, he's already been snapped up by none other than French bombshell Laetitia Casta. But as we say in French, "un mec maque, ca ce demaque," roughly translated as "a guy who's taken can be un-taken," or something. A girl can only dream.

Hmm ;)

Stoned in Love

2006-04-14T20:06:00.000+04:00

No, not me that's stoned in love. This song - Stoned in Love by Chicane - is rapidly becoming my favourite song of the moment.

The track features vocals by Tom Jones, and his voice is almost unrecognisable. It's only when he hits the high notes that you can tell it's him.

My sis introduced me to Chicane, who make very mellow yet heart-stirring electronic music. They've previously collaborated with Bryan Adams on "Dont Give Up," and I loved the result. Stoned in Love is even better.

By the way, I've seen Tom Jones in concert, and WOW! The man sure can sing, and he sure has a hell of a lot of energy! I could almost understand why women throw their undies at him :)

Check out the Stoned in Love video. Pretty fun!

jay kay in my house...I wish

2006-04-13T23:05:00.000+04:00

My sis is making me so jealous, I've got her on the phone right now and I can hear Jamiroquai as if they were playing in my own bedroom!

"Yeah yeah, all right now...let's spend the night together, wake up and live forever..."

Aaaah, I love Jamiroquai.
Again, why did I not go to the concert?!?!?!

I once called a good friend of mine while I was at a Metallica concert in Montreal (AMAZING!), and he just shut the phone in my face. I now understand why. Jealousy is a bitch.

:)

writer's block

2006-04-12T19:43:00.000+04:00

It is the weekend again for me...I love how this week went by so fast. Except, I have to write something and I cannot, for the life of me, construct a single decent sentence.

I thought I'd have it done during office hours today, but I guess given that my deadline is Saturday morning, my mind went into weekend-mode a little too early.

Also, I have taken Saturday and Sunday off from work, so I want to get this piece done TONIGHT so I don't have to spend my mini-break worrying about it. But I just can't wrap my head around this thing...I hate writer's block.

You may be wondering why -if I am unable to write- I am writing here. Well, the first thing our great professors at university thaught us was that if you're having a hard time churning out a piece, either step away from it for a while, or write something completely unrelated just to get the creative juices flowing.

The former hasn't worked, even though I took a nap and got some chocolate into my system (you know, just to get some energy...right). So I'm really hoping the latter trick will work. Will keep you posted.

what's in a name

2006-04-10T21:14:00.000+04:00

So Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin now have a baby boy, and the jokes about their second child's name have been rampant, considering they called their first-born Apple. Now, they've gone and named the little innocent boy Moses.

Why God why? I know they're celebrities and they think they're allowed to commit such crimes, but do parents not think of the consequences a child's name can have on their lives?

Apple?! And Moses?! Judging from what Apple looks like now, both of them are going to look absolutely adorable. But I will pray for those kids once they hit the school yard.

I hated my name for a long time; especially considering that when I was born, my parents took a whole month before they could settle on a name. So you'd think that my name would be outta this world, but it's not. My name also begins with an R, and I have a very slight problem properly pronouncing Rs.

Strange, considering I speak French and that I can perfectly roll my Rs then, but in English or Arabic, my Rs come out a little W-ed. I like my name now; I'm not in love with it, but it's ok.

Anyway, all this to say is that I'm going to run my future children's names through every language I know, and every language my friends know that I don't know, just to make sure that it doesn't mean anything offensive or ridiculous in another language. I will also try to refrain from giving my child a name that begins with an S, because the kid could turn out to have a lisp. Seriously, I know a girl who has a very strong lisp, and unfortunately, her name starts with an S. I want to crack up everytime she introduces herself to someone, and I think I do.

I just wouldn't want my kids to be teased about their names. I know it seems like I've thought long and hard about my kids' names, but really, I haven't. I barely want children, but if I were to have any, it would just make sense to ensure that they have a tease-free future if I can help it, at least with regards to their names.

from fug to less fug

2006-04-08T21:57:00.000+04:00

Uuufffffffffff I've finally changed my fugly template. Seriously, I took a minute and looked at it yesterday and it made me nauseous. I'm surprised no one called me on it before...you guys are too polite!

Anyway, so this kinda bland one will have to do for now, much better than the last one in my opinion. Still, I'm not lusting after this one either. But personalising my blog and creating an original template is a little more than what my little brain can handle.

blog dream

2006-04-07T19:57:00.000+04:00

I've been blogging for more than six months now, and never did this virtual world enter my dream world.

But last night, I dreamt that I met moryarti :)

And given that you had once said you'd want David Schwimmer to play you moryarti, you looked like him in my dream.

Funny, and a little weird!

me, myself and I

2006-04-04T21:53:00.000+04:00

Update: I tag moryarti, jin and DS. (Just so you can't pretend you didn't know!)
(How did this turn into an official tag?...:)

I am not: a goody-two-shoes
I love: the beach
I hate: pretentious folks
I fear: my thoughts
I hope: I will one day be able to maneuver my nose-ring out
I hear: constant ringing in my ears
I crave: men
I regret: nothing
I cry: often
I care: despite what people may think
I always: wash my face before bed
I feel alone: in a crowd
I listen: for 10 mins, drift away for 5, listen for 10...
I hide: from neighbours with whom I don't want to make small-talk
I drive: my father up the wall sometimes
I dance: like a ho' when alone in my room, but more conservatively in public
I write: every day
I act: as badly as Ben Affleck getting through a crying scene
I miss: having my own place
I learn: by making tons of mistakes
I feel: naive
I know: nothing is certain
I sleep: in my underwear
I wonder: what my life would be like if my mom were around
I want: to be happy
I worry: way too much
I have: 2 tattoos
I fight: my mind
I need: a vacation
I am: a stubborn Saggittarian
I think: I am funny

Khaleeji charm

2006-04-02T22:32:00.000+04:00

I love this man. I've never had a crush on an Arab celebrity, so Rashed Al Majid is my first.
I love his voice, I love his songs, I love him.

The other night I was flipping through the channels and the Dubai channel had one of his concerts on...I watched and listened completely smitten, and eventually dozed off into a very peaceful sleep. This man's got charm.

The first Rashed Al Majid song I heard was "Ya Habibi" back in 2001. My brother, ever the Khaleeji (Gulf) music lover, introduced me to him, and I remember dancing to it with him, twirling a cane (3asay) around. True, we're not very good Khaleeji dancers, but we try!

Other songs I love are Waily (wow), Meshkalny, Al 3youn, and a recent one I've heard but of which I don't know the name. It goes: "Jani habibi min ba3d ghebat sneen, ygoul ysameh..."
Anyone know the name?

wardrobe malfunction

2006-04-01T21:58:00.000+04:00

So I'm doing a little pseudo-spring cleaning in my wardrobe, really because the method to the madness is only viable for so long.

Also because I've accumulated things from what seems like a million years ago which I'd never be caught dead wearing now (i.e mini tube top that stops right under my boobs...I kept it anyway, just for the sake of the memories.) And because I sometimes feel the need to give to charity.

Anyway, this spring cleaning made me realise two things. One, 98% of my wardrobe is black. Two, I've put on a kilo or two.

Well, I realised I had put on weight a couple of months back, but I've recently felt the need to diversify what I wear. Not happening...at least not until I go shopping, again!

I've never cared about my weight. I was born curvy and I like it. In fact, my two best friends in high school were stick thin model types (who have indeed modelled), and they were always on crazy diets. Meanwhile, I'd sit there and tempt them into having sinfully yummy chocolate cake.

Sometimes when I had the occasional big crush or supposed big love in my life, I'd lose some weight, since girls tend to be too excited about a guy to eat sometimes. But before moving back to Abu Dhabi last year, I lost quite a bit of weight. Yes I had a boyfriend, but I mainly lost the weight because I was really unhappy with my life. Depression can do that to you sometimes.

Sure I liked fitting into a wider range of clothing for a while, but I'm the type who freaks out when I lose weight. I think I have AIDS or cancer or something. Since I wasn't doing anything to lose the weight, I definitely thought I was dying. But no, it was just the good ole' blues.

So with the weight loss came the need for new pairs of trousers, new skirts etc. I ate anything and everything to my heart's desire, and little did I know that the countless Jammin' Jammocha's from Baskin Robbins I had during the disgustingly hot UAE summer would comfortably find a place on my thighs months later.

They are indeed resting very comfortably now, and I no longer fit into the bottom-clothing-items I bought last year. Of course, my breasts and tummy seem to know nothing of the weight I've put on, as my tops still fit me. We women are blessed with fat rushing straight to our thighs...oh joy.

Anyway...I don't really mind the couple of kilos I've put on, I've always been more comfortable this way. But this means another huge dent into my bank account. I'd love to hire a personal shopper, as I have no desire to hang around malls for an eternity trying to find clothes that will last me a few months.

I also recently ripped my favourite pair of jeans, and finding a perfect pair of jeans in AD is the hardest thing in the world. Why why why. Any suggestions on where I can find nice, well fitting jeans in AD? And by well fitting I mean not armpit high waists or crotch baringly low, and that don't make me look like I have an oddly shaped penis lurking underneath.

I miss Homogene!! (Montreal-based store filled to the brim with every kind of jeans a girl could possibly dream of!)

sex and the city spoof

2006-03-31T21:39:00.000+04:00

A skit from Saturday Night Live. Very funny!
You gotta give it to Christina Aguilera...I don't like her, but she does a mean Samantha!

moments alone

2006-03-31T20:51:00.000+04:00

Ooooh the weekend is over already. I think a new worldwide rule should be enforced that we should only have four-day working weeks. Surely it must be enough?

I had quite a consistenly busy week, which was fun. I like it when it's like that, because you have no time to get bored or restless, and days just fly by. But why is it that they also fly by when you voluntarily do nothing?

I did nothing but relax this weekend. Lazied around in bed on Thursday morning and dragged my white-self to the beach, only to be met with cloudy skies and violent gusts of wind. No worries, I was on my own with my wordsearch booklet and Ipod in hand...fun times for an occasional geek like me.

I lazied around in my big bed again this morning but quickly got up and ready for the beach when I saw the sun shining from my bedroom window. It was a busy day for the folks at the beach today, and a lot of people I knew were around. But I chose to seclude myself and hang out alone most of the time.

A friend came up to me at the end of the day while I was having a smoke and remarked that I seem to like solitude. I'm guessing he made that assumption based on this one time that I was alone, since I generally go to the beach with friends or family. But yes, sometimes I need to be alone. Even one of the beach staffers was baffled that I was on my own.

What's so wrong with being alone?

It's nice to want to be around people, not to need to be around them. And I learned that the hard way. When I was younger and much more foolish than I am today (if that's even possible), I used to love to surround myself with anyone and everyone. I was always looking for a conversation, always looking for attention.

I can't say I don't like attention anymore, but I've come to be the type that likes a few very close friends over hords of people who'd probably turn their back on you in a second. Of course, I'm not a I-don't-need-anyone kind of person...and I think it's sad when people won't admit to needing someone.

I need my family, I need my friends, I need a guy sometimes...but most of the time, I just want them around me because I love them. Alone time is precious to me; it's when I realise who I want in my life.

MEN!!!

2006-03-27T22:51:00.000+04:00

Excerpt of a conversation between my former-crush-M and I earlier today, which started off based on an 'incident' that happened yesterday where he said something and went back on his word, all in a bid to get me interested in what he does. He hates to be analysed apparently, something I do day in and day out with everyone. So it turned into a conversation about the "let's date" scenario from over a month ago.

bla bla bla...

Me: "I said that you liked the attention that comes with saying something, making me think about it, and going back on your word. And I said that in reference to something else you've done before, which as far as I'm concerned was a joke, but didn't seem like it at the time. And I know you know what I'm talking about, so don't play stupid."

M: "Well, it was kind of a joke, and actually, you started to act in a very weird way after that..."

Me: "How?"

M: "Dunno, just the way you acted."

Me: "Ok, like how?"

M: "I can't remember now, it was just the way you acted. I felt you took it more seriously."

Me: "I didn't take it more seriously, I just considered it. And when someone shows interest, people usually consider it, no?"

M: "Well yeah, but we were laughing when we talked about it. Besides, we're friends, it would be weird."

Me: "M, I never brought this up, you did. And I know a joke from something a little more serious. And I'm the one who had said we were friends and it would be weird, not you."

(...)

M: "I didn't show interest. I only said if you weren't dating anyone in a month, I'll go out with you. Is that interest?"

Me: "See, you're reacting in a typical guy way. You got freaked out because I considered it."

M: "No I didn't."

Me: "And I don't see why you think I took it more seriously, since I clearly told you I was not looking for a relationship. "

(...)

Me: "My point is, it's been a month. Should we date?"

M: "hehe..."

Me: "Answer, I'm just trying to make a point."

M: "I don't think we should date. Is that your point?"

Me: "Yes my point is exactly that. You said something and went back on your word."

M: "Ok, as you like."

(...)

Me: "Anyway, I said all that and asked all of this just to make a point, and for you not to think that I just analyse you and others for nothing."

M: "Cool, so things won't be weird now? You and me?"

Me: "Why would it be weird? I was never interested in the first place M."

M: "Ok, are we cool now?"

Me: "Sure. We were always cool."

bla bla bla...

ARGH! Men are such pussies sometimes, and more importantly, so bloody annoying.
Is it wrong that I still find him attractive? :)

O Canada!

2006-03-25T21:51:00.000+04:00

One of the very few things that makes me hang my head in shame at being Canadian...seal hunts.

I realise that this is a way of life for fishermen, but surely they can find another way to make a living?

Maybe I'm wrong, but the thought of these baby seals meeting their deaths so violently for the sake of a 'way of life' is sickening.

I know I know, I eat meat and cows are slaughtered every day. And yes I know all other kinds of animals are slaughtered every day...I've thought long and hard about becoming a vegetarian based on moral principles, but I haven't yet taken the step.

Anyway, back to the point, I wish Canada would do something about their seal hunt. I'd wish to remain a proud Canadian, although with crazy conservative Stephen Harper as prime minister, that may not be a realistic possibility. Why did the liberals have to go and screw it up!?

conversion gone wrong

2006-03-24T14:50:00.000+04:00

For the first time in my 20-plus years of living in the UAE, I felt a sense of worry over what religion I was born into.

Gulf News' front page article today sent a uneasy feeling through my body when I picked up the paper this morning. I'd read about this story throughout the past couple of days, but the fact that Muslim scholars from the country I've called home for so long could be making such statements and possibly siding with the execution of a man based on his religion is frightening.

If those scholars got one thing right, it's that Bush needs to butt out of everyone's business. I hate him whole-heartedly. But the world, West, East, South and North, needs to stand up and do something about this.

I'm not religious and generally don't care about these issues because they are nothing but trouble, but to execute a man on the basis of converting to Christianity is pure madness. Everyday, thousands of Christians convert to Islam, and the world does not bat an eyelid. You don't see the Pope calling for these human beings looking for something to believe in to be put down.

I may not know much about religion, but the one thing I know is that in order to faithfully adhere to one of the three monotheistic religions, you must accept and be tolerant of the two others. So why on earth does the Shari'a law punish apostasy? Muslims are always preaching that their religion is one of tolerance, but this case is intolerance at its best.

Sadly, I know that the completely insane people of Afghanistan who want to execute this man for converting to Christianity are not a representation of the Muslim world or the religion itself. These people are barbaric and ignorant, and wouldn't know what faith or religion was if it hit them in their bearded faces.

Islamic scholars in the UAE are now seemingly supporting the execution, or at least punishment, of this man. I thought the UAE was more understanding, but religious fanaticism is rampant, and is now very much in our faces in the comfort of this country.

I hope the real and tolerant Muslims of this world can rally behind the rest of the world who thinks that executing this man is an act of intolerance, and more importantly, an act that defies the very thing that their God preaches.

With every fiber of my non-religious being, I pray that this man, and any other person judged or persecuted on the basis of their religion, will be spared. This is not faith, it's a complete joke. And if there's a god out there, he's definitely not knocking sense into the people that use his name as a pitiful excuse for pure madness.

Once again, I'll offer you another take on the matter, by someone much more eloquent and expressive than my little self. Thanks Fouad :)

boys and girls

2006-03-21T20:47:00.000+04:00

For the second time this week, I've dreamt of the X. Why why why?

They've also both been dreams in which things get quite intimate. Hmm. I mentioned this to former crush M today, and he said it's a sign that X might come back into my life. No no no. I know he won't, and even if he does, I wouldn't give him much consideration.

Now, if he flies all the way from wherever he is and starts to tell me all about his feelings and why he was such a jerk, I might just listen. But there isn't a chance in hell that this would happen.

So...moving on.

As I mentioned, M is now a former crush. Except not really...The "I want him now!" vibe has definitely died down, and I didn't even flinch when he told me of a weekend fling with some out-of-town chick. On the contrary, I wanted to hear all the juicy details.

I'm afraid I may have moved into the friend zone. Except once in a while there's a look, a teasing "I hate you" that comes out of his mouth, or excessive accidental touching that make me wonder. I also asked M flat out whether he believes in friendships between guys and girls, to which he replied a very confident yes.

See, I don't believe in pure friendships between guys and girls. I think there's always a reason for the friendship; guy finds girl hot or vice versa, strikes up conversation, ends up going nowhere, but they end up friends. Or, guy and girl date for a while, ends up going nowhere, end up being friends. Or guy is girl's boyfriend's friend, so they end up being friends.

Anyway, the point is, I think there's no such thing as being friends between the two sexes, just for the sake of being friends. It may end up that way, but surely it does not begin that way. And in my very humble opinion, I think most guys I know would agree to that. So M's resounding "yes" was quite disconcerting. Maybe he was trying to make a point? (no Sky, I do not want you!)

Hmm.

Anyway, having a semi-crush isn't half bad, especially if you are not holding out for anything more than a little flirting here and there. It's fun. I catch myself staring at his very manly hands (so important!), involuntarily giggling at his dumb jokes, and even checking out areas no good girl should be checking out in broad daylight. Ah, lust...

job update

2006-03-19T21:02:00.000+04:00

So I still have a job...phew. I wouldn't breathe too easy though; my company is known to be fire-happy. But at least all my bitching led to one constructive thing being done.

The boss and I had another argument this morning (he started it!), during which I told him it was not my problem if he wasn't competent enough to get his team together for a 10 min meeting everyday.

Within a half hour, an email had come through stating that daily meetings will be held from now on.

I'd jump for joy that my little voice has finally been heard, but we've tried this daily meeting thing before and it would work for a day and a half, and then everyone would go their own way again.

Fingers crossed, for the millionth time.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

2006-03-18T19:33:00.000+04:00

I've developped a temper over the past few years, but that temper only comes out with family and friends (sorry guys!)

It takes quite a bit for someone I don't know very well to push my buttons and get me to lose it. But ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure and pride to tell you that I finally told my boss off today! (but of course, being a girl, cried about it the minute it was over.)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Feels so good.

Seriously, I mean I'm nice and all...but I'm not an idiot. I may not speak up very much, but there comes a time when idiots need to be put back into their idiot boxes.

The whole tell-off-the-boss episode happened this morning, although it was over the phone. And I left the office before he had come back, so I have not seen him since. Tomorrow should be interesting. Either I will get fired (a realistic possibility), or he will understand that he cannot mess around with me (also realistic).

What really made me laugh in disbelief was how he kept telling me that I shouldn't question him because he's my boss, and that I shouldn't tell him what to do or not to do. And you know, if someone is not moronic, then yes I will shut up, because I definitely don't have enough wisdom or experience (yet).

But when someone is being an idiot and it's plain for everyone to see, then you can be certain that I will tell him/her, no matter who they are.

I was once again reminded today that you cannot command respect and that your job title, sex, age or race will not automatically earn you someone's respect. I respect those who respect me and those who treat me the way I deserve to be treated.

Man it felt good...but keep your fingers crossed for me. I still love my job and would love to still have it!

Sarah McLachlan - Sweet Surrender

mr and mrs brangelina?

2006-03-17T23:40:00.000+04:00

When the BBC reports on rumours surrounding an upcoming Brangelina wedding, then you gotta start taking notice.

Will they? Won't they? Do we care?

Like many out there, I have an unhealthy fascination with that couple, even though their tactics with the press can be a little annoying, and even though I think Brad has been a bit of an ass. But I love Angelina. And those kids of hers (theirs?) are too freakin' cute.

I am definitely on team Angelina. And let's hope this wedding happens already...The rumours are getting old!

fear of flying

2006-03-15T18:09:00.000+04:00

I refused an invitation to go on a short flight around the Emirates today as part of a tourism initiative.

Why?

I believe watching countless hours of National Geographic's "Air Crash Investigations" has finally gotten to me. I was afraid of getting on an airplane!

Last night, I watched the TWA flight 800 crash investigation, and man...all of these reconstructions flip me out.

I knew this might happen, as I've become a nervous flyer thanks to the culture of fear we live in. But I didn't think it would be this bad!

Anyway...I will definitely need to go through a National Geographic detox program before my next vacation.

Btw, for some illogical reason, I've always believed that if a plane (with me in it) would crash on land, I would survive. On the other hand, the minute I fly over the ocean, I try not to think about it as I believe I would never survive a crash in the ocean (more predators: hypothermia, sharks, baracudas...)

I also always get a very calming feeling whenever I see a super cute baby on one of my flights, as I tell myself that God (or physics) would not crash a plane with such an adorable baby on it.

I know, it's dumb reasoning. Any of you have weird predictions or superstitions about flying?

breathe

2006-03-13T21:32:00.000+04:00

My mood's gone from awful to better to worse today. I know I'm moody sometimes, but this has got to be some kind of a record.

I woke up at 7'45 (WAY too early for me), went straight into the shower, except there was not a single drop of water. That explained the yelling I heard from my dad just before I woke up. Turns out one of the water heaters was leaking through the night, and the guys who came to fix it messed everything up by somehow switching off all of the water supplies in the entire apartment. Problem is, they couldn't figure out how to switch them back on.

I so wanted to go back to sleep and ditch work for the morning, but when the water came back on I showered and got ready in record time and still managed to make it on time to my 9 am engagement.

Work this morning was shitty. I won't get into it, but I will just say that everytime I try to give my dumbass boss a chance and think he is a nice guy and that we can all just get along, he goes and messes it up. I'm nauseous at the thought of seeing him tomorrow.

The second part of my work day was a little better, and I thought my mood was picking up. But I got home feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I wanted to crawl under my covers forever, but forever only lasted 15 minutes, until I was woken up by a work phone call. UGH!

Now I just feel hollow. I'm not sure what it is. I was just talking to my friend and telling her how I've been thinking about my ex lately, which is strange, considering I haven't thought of him in ages, and when I did, it did nothing to me.

The past couple of days, thoughts of him have just been whizzing by in my head. And whenever they do, I get this empty feeling inside of me. Sometimes I wish I could speak to him, revisit the memories, relive our relationship, if only just for a few minutes.

Our year-long relationship feels like a huge gap in my life. I almost can't recall anything. His smell, his voice, his words, his touch. Nothing. Empty. Even a song that would tear me apart every time I heard it because it reminded me so much of a night we spent together as it played repeatedly in the background...it no longer moves me.

The first time I heard it while I was in his arms, I knew it would take me a long time to get that haunting melody out of my head. Funny enough, I also thought of how much it would hurt to hear it whenever we would break up.

So in honour of my lost and forgotten relationship, I give you...

Lifehouse - Breathing
It seems like it's the only thing left I have to salvage that relationship. And it's tearing me apart right now.

yay or nay?

2006-03-12T18:34:00.000+04:00

What do you guys think of the following?

Good thing? Bad thing? Don't care? The question also goes to all of you outside the UAE. (FYI: This is printed every week in a daily paper, Gulf News)

I'm torn actually. The first time I saw it last week, I was a little appalled by the "Worst Crash of the Week" title. It just didn't seem appropriate.

But on the other hand, maybe the images are horrific enough to hit a nerve with some people who drive like maniacs?

I'm still not sure if I agree with this whole thing, but it has definitely not left me indifferent.

Celine

2006-03-11T22:38:00.000+04:00

I'm just as proud of Celine as the next "Canadian". But man she can be ridiculously hilarious sometimes!
Watch and laugh (or cringe).
(Thanks for the tip moryarti!)

matters of the hair

2006-03-09T19:10:00.000+04:00

What is it about male hairdressers, who either look and act extremely gay and flamboyant, or so manly and wonderfully-moody that sitting in their chair for 3-plus hours is nothing short of pleasurable?

I finally got my hair cut and coloured this morning, it was long overdue. And luckily, I have the latter-described kind of hairdresser. He isn't particularly dreamy, but I guess it has something to do with a man fiddling around with my hair.

I am one of those who now can fall asleep when people play with my hair, as opposed to being a traumatised child because my hair was so fine that it would fall out in hords when my mean cousin (yes, Habz, you!) would pull on my hair!

And not that anyone cares, but I am so happy my hair is now healthy (knock on wood). I started dyeing my hair when I was 15 and have gone through almost every colour in the book. A few years back, I decided I would dye all of my hair brown, bleach a good 5 centimetres at the bottom, and dye those fire-engine red. It was nice for a day or two, but the red then turned into a Halloween-orange, leading a guy on the street to yell out: "Hey, Halloween is over!"

Hmm.

My hair was so damaged after that dye-job that everytime I washed it, it was so porous it looked like a soaked cotton ball. Not good. Even the hairdresser could not hide how sorry she felt for me.

Other hair disasters include me going to an AD hairdresser and asking for layers (at the height of their popularity in the early 90's). He asked me to put my head down, took a pair of scissors and just sliced it off in one go. I was left with a mullet. Seriously, Jon Bon Jovi had nothing on me.

I cried and cried and cried until my mullet grew out, and used every possible technique in the book to hide it until it grew out. Needless to say, I went through a "I-will-never-cut-my-hair-ever-ever-ever-ever-again" phase, which resulted in a full head of split ends and badly damaged hair.

So for my hair to look the way it looks now is quite an achievement, even if I splurge on a particular kind of shampoo every month. Expensive, yes, vain, maybe, but a girl is almost nothing without a good head of hair.

:)

Listening to: Desireless - Voyage Voyage
(Great classic French 80's track!)

eve teasing

2006-03-07T23:48:00.000+04:00

In light of the 2006 Blog-a-thon on street harassment, which I missed, I'd like chip in my two cents. I don't claim to have any solutions, but I would like to raise a few points.

Many of my friends still live in the delusional belief that this city is safe for women. I'm not saying it's the crime-ridden streets of New York or any other big city in the world, and yes, we women do enjoy many privileges, thanks to the galantry of the men of this country.

But I've often been exposed to street harassment, and this is something that still scares me to this day.

The first time I experienced any sort of discomfort as a girl in this city was when I was 12 or so. I was waiting for my father to pick me up from a friend's house in the evening, when this bearded man walked past us, stood about 5 metres away, and started jacking off. I had nightmares about that for a while after.

Another time I was harrassed was when I was about 15, some guy voluntarily bumped into me as I was walking home from school and called me a whore, for no apparent reason. After that, he stood near my house every week for about a month, touching himself as I walked past him. I finally told my father about it, and once dad confronted him, he went away.

A few years back, I was window shopping in the dead of summer on Hamdan street with a friend. I was wearing a long sleeved shirt with a high-necked collar and a pair of jeans, when this man came up to me and said: Are you working? I was so naive that I didn't even flinch, until my friend started yelling at him.

In that moment, I understood that it would never matter what I wore, how I looked or what I said. I am a woman, and no matter what, no matter where I go in the world, chances are someone will make a disgusting comment.

As I said, I still live with this fear out here. I have faith in this country and its people, but when I read about the young woman who was gang-raped in Dubai and that those criminals only got a two-year sentence, my heart dropped.

All I can do now is walk around with an attitude. Being naive will not work out here or anywhere for that matter, although I do wish I could retain some innocence. I hate giving attitude, as it's not me at all. Also, a lot of well-mannered and good-intentioned men may think I'm a bitch. But without the attitude, I think women would fall victim to idiots much too easily.

I do, however, love it when idiotic Arabs make lewd comments thinking I'm a Westerner. The look on their faces when I answer in Arabic is priceless. I think it goes to show the discrepancy in how Arab men respect Arab vs. non-Arab women.

I'm glad the blog-a-thon took place, maybe it will raise a few eyebrows, hit a few nerves, and open up some minds.

if

2006-03-07T18:13:00.000+04:00

If someone were to play you in a movie, which actor/actress would it be?

will ADS get her groove back?

2006-03-05T19:11:00.000+04:00

Warning: I'm about to be a complete girl and whine about a guy. (You have been warned)

Well, to sum everything up, I feel like I've lost my groove.

I used to have a groove, used to be very straightforward, and went for whatever it is I wanted when it came to guys (except of course when I really really liked a guy, then I'd just become a dumb girl again.)

I've had another crush lately, M. I've known him for a few months, but never really thought of him that way, until now.

A few weeks ago we were having coffee and this is how the conversation went.

M: "So when are you going to find yourself a boyfriend?"
ADS: "Um, excuse me? I'm not looking for a boyfriend. Why?"
M: "Ok here's what...if in a month, you aren't dating anyone, we start to date, casually."
ADS: "Um, ok, why?"
M: "Come on, we can try it out."
ADS: "But things might get weird."
M: "No no, they won't." (pulls out his phone and mockingly puts a reminder in his calendar to start dating me on March 18.)

Anyway. Since then, I've considered the idea and realised that yes, I would like to date him casually. In fact, I find him extremely attractive now. And, I am not looking for a relationship, so the word casual calmed my fears.

There was some heavy flirting via sms a week or so after that, at which point we definitely went beyond proper 'friend' etiquette.

And since then...almost nothing. There's a little flirting here and there, but it stops there.
We were out the other night and he made a chauvinistic comment to which I replied: "Hey watch out. If you still want that date, it's not gonna happen if you say things like that." To which he replied with a smirk: "Huh? What date?"

I've dropped a few obvious hints since then, and it's clear he enjoys my company...but why have things not yet developped? More importantly, why do I feel like they've gone backwards?

In light of the now-defunct HK crush and this M-crush seemingly going nowhere, I definitely feel like I've lost my groove.

SOS!

Listening to: Dire Straits - Sultans of Swing

why?

2006-03-04T21:29:00.000+04:00

Why do passport pictures almost always turn out ugly?

I'm having my passport renewed and just got back from the photographer's. I'm stuck with a picture that makes my neck look like it's 5 metres wide for the next 15 years.

I don't mean to sound vain, but I'm usually quite photogenic. In fact, I look better in pictures than I do in person. So why why why do I always look horrible in passport pictures, no matter what I do?

On top of everything, we are no longer allowed to smile in passport pictures. The horror...

For future reference, do you guys have any tips on how to take a good passport picture?
(what to wear, how to sit, how not to look 5 metres thick?)

happy saturday

2006-03-04T20:50:00.000+04:00

Happy Saturday everyone. I try to convince myself it's happy too, but I've really come to be annoyed with Saturdays...(back to work for us here in Abu Dhabi for those outside the UAE).

The weekend was really fun, and unusually eventful! It was my friend S's birthday on Thursday, so we stuffed ourselves with a humongous meal on Wednesday night. Thursday morning we set out for Um Al Quwain where we took S and some people skydiving!

No, I did not jump. I've jumped before...on July 31, 2001, to be precise. I remember because skydiving is completely out of my nature. I'm a hypocondriac and a worrier...so jumping off a plane isn't exactly my thing. But my friend M and I had gone to watch M's mom skydive. She came back to the ground, completely serene and calm, telling us she wasn't going to let us leave unless we jumped.

I tried to find every possible excuse in the book, from my ears to my sinuses, and my hair to my feet. But I was assured that my ears would not burst, that my sinuses would not explode, that my hair would be just fine -albeit a little frayed-, and that my feet might feel wobbly once on the ground. Nothing major.

Once I swiped my bank card to pay for the jump, that's when I really freaked out. After that, I was surprisingly calm, except when I turned around to look at M while we were on the plane and she was majorly freaking out.

But I was the first to jump...and oh my god! Amazing amazing amazing. I was on an adrenaline rush for 3 days after that. But I know that I could not do it again, at least not just yet. But I highly recommend it!

Anyway...so the UAQ Aeroclub was pretty cool, although quite disorganised. It took 2 hours from the time we got there till the first person jumped. Four of our friends jumped and they absolutely loved it. It did however take us 3 long hours to get back to Abu Dhabi as we got stuck in ridiculous traffic on Emirates Road. Very annoying.

(those specks in the pic are people, btw...:)

We ended up going out to a salsa/arabic party that night, and it was good times all around.

But it's back to work now...and also back to planning another birthday that is coming up in 3 weeks. M's birthday in fact, who is S's sister. It's hard to beat skydiving on your birthday...We're short on ideas. Any suggestions?

Listening to: Sublime - Santeria

my first ever blog tag

2006-03-03T03:10:00.000+04:00

Yay! I've been tagged! And here I was thinking I had been left out...it's the middle child in me, always feeling insecure..:p

So here goes!

Four jobs I've had:
- Intern at Radio One (Abu Dhabi)
- Salesperson (Montreal), which lasted about a minute and a half
- Copywriter for an ad agency (Abu Dhabi), hated it!
- Freelance reporter

Four movies that I could watch over and over:
- Bridget Jones' Diary (first one)
- The 5th Element
- Romeo and Juliet
- Moulin Rouge

Four places where I've lived:
- Lebanon, for a year after I was born
- Abu Dhabi (for 17 long years)
- Montreal (6 years)
- Back to Abu Dhabi! hmmm...not very exciting

Four TV shows that I like:
- Friends
- Sex and the City
- Scrubs
- Lost

Four places where I've vacationed:
- Busko Zdroj, Poland
- Israel
- Lugano, Switzerland
- Paris

Four of my favourite dishes:
- SEAFOOD!
- Mujaddarah (lentils, yummy!)
- Vasco's' shrimp curry
- Fondue (cheese, meat, chocolate, anything goes!)

Four sites that I visit daily:
- www.eonline.com
- http://dlisted.blogspot.com
- http://trent.blogspot.com
- http://popsugar.com
(I know, I'm a celebrity gossip whore!)

Four books that I've read this year:
I'm very sad to announce that I have read zero books this year. I'd better get on it. My reading phase will surely come back soon.

Four bloggers that I'm going to tag:
Anyone who'd like to share, please feel free! The more I know about you guys, the better!

lost in translation

2006-03-01T10:44:00.000+04:00

Many of my posts have been about music lately. I must be in love? Oh, so far from it!

But I have a question to the Arabic-speaking readers out there.

I've been completely addicted to Hussein Al Jasmi's song, Al Shaki. I know it's a little old, but that beat just gets me going everytime.

Except I cannot understand a quarter of what he's saying. My Arabic is good, but not good enough to understand such a pronounced Emarati accent. All I get is that he's talking about someone who left him and that he is sad?

Anyone care to translate?

Thanks!

party no more

2006-02-26T23:36:00.000+04:00

In 'sadder' news, one of my favourite bands, The Tea Party, has split up.

I had absolutely no idea that rumours were even circulating, but I just read an interview with lead singer Jeff Martin about the break-up.

Oh well...they've created some amazing music together, and I have no doubt that Jeff will come out with some great stuff.

good music

2006-02-26T23:27:00.000+04:00

I have a new favourite band. I love it when that happens!

I was watching the mildly-entertaining 'The Banger Sisters' on MBC2 the other night and heard a song that caught my ear. After consulting with my dear www.amazon.com, turns out the song is Home by the band Dishwalla.

I had only heard one song by them previously, Somewhere in the Middle, which I really liked.

After downloading Home, I downloaded a bunch of others...and I'm smitten. The singer's voice is so captivating, so sensual, with a very clear rasp that I absolutely adore.

Check them out. My personal favourites (so far) are Home, Mad Life, & Candleburn.

Enjoy!

I Heart National Geographic

2006-02-25T23:11:00.000+04:00

I am so bummed out.

Ever since the storm we had the other day, I no longer get the National Geographic channel.

I've recently become a complete NG addict; i love love looooove their shows.

I only get the regular channels in my room; no showtime no orbit no nothing. Am I supposed to get National Geographic or was it just a fluke?

I also just auto-reprogrammed my tv...still nothing!

Do check out this site
http://www7.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0602/feature2/multimedia.html

It's February's photo-feature, and it's about love. I love how they put their very own spin on everything. (Photo by Jodi Cobb.)

Update: As of last night, National Geographic is baaaaaack! Woohoo! I got to watch a documentary about alligators and crocodiles in Florida; it freaked me out! Great show though.

rain on my parade

2006-02-24T18:24:00.000+04:00

I am of the very emotional type. I feel everything; sometimes it shows, sometimes I succeed at concealing it. These past few days seemed to have been ok, even better than usual. But once the night comes, I lay down in my bed and try to get some sleep, but all I hear is the pounding of my heart.

Can you sometimes fool yourself into believing that everything is ok?

Something must be stressing me out, but I'm not quite sure what it is. I have the daily dose of stress which I thought I'd become accustomed to. But I guess it catches up with you eventually.

I hate to place the blame on one thing only, but I do know that a huge source of my stress comes from within my own home. I may have mentioned before that I live with a relative who is completely depressed. Yes, she is ill, but it's nothing that other old folks haven't experienced. She refuses to believe that her problems are psychological.

She complains. All the time. If I dare to venture out of my room to hang out with dad, brother or anyone else in the house, I hear the same story over and over again. All hell could be breaking loose around her, but in the end, it's all about her and how horrible she feels.

Sometimes I can sympathise; I've been through rough patches in my life when all I could think about was how awful I felt. I wonder if I am so appalled by her behaviour because it reminds me of my own weaknesses.

I also wonder over and over again if it's ok to have such negative feelings towards someone who has raised you and loved you by choice, not through imperative. This is the exact feeling that torments me; I sometimes feel like the most ungrateful person in the world for feeling this way.

My head and heart feel heavy this evening. There's no use talking to anyone about this because it's all been said and done, but this virtual world provides a previously unexplored outlet for my guilt.

Listening to: Israel Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over the Rainbow
"Where trouble melts like lemon drops..."

Soul

2006-02-23T00:33:00.000+04:00

It was June 1997, the summer when I lost more of my innocence. My close childhood friend had just passed away suddenly, and I was going out with a deadbeat.

I had mustered the courage to go out to a bar for the first time since my friend had passed away, and I was having a shitty time. I went out by the water for air, and the tears overcame me. I was sitting alone when I saw this guy looking at me.

He came to speak to me and I quickly wanted to dismiss him. But he sat down at my table and asked me what was wrong. The words flooded out; I told him everything. Then he began to speak, to this day I cannot remember what he was really talking about it.

The conversation felt like it had lasted hours, but it must have just lasted about a half hour. The more he spoke, the more relieved I felt. I was smiling, although I don't remember why. He politely decided he'd leave me alone and said goodbye. He turned around and asked for my name. Then he said: My name is Soul.

He walked away, I turned around for a split second, looked back, and he was nowhere to be seen.

I've never been a big believer, but to this day, I believe this big and burly guy, Soul, was my guardian angel.

And no, I was not drunk.

:)

Listening to: Jason Mraz - You & I Both
This guy has the sweetest voice ever.

never?

2006-02-21T21:53:00.001+04:00

Losing defining moments is a little scary. Forgetting about those things that you thought you would never forget or get over is quite strange.

Who hasn't been through a break up? And who hasn't uttered the words "I'll never get over him, I'll never forget..."

I experienced the longest relationship of my young life last year. I felt so much, discovered so much, pushed my comfort boundaries. I cried a lot, I laughed just as much, I thought a lot, and I hurt more than I thought I could for a guy.

It was not my first relationship at all, but there were so many firsts with him. Things that at the time I thought would remain engraved in my memory forever. Now, weeks on end go by sometimes without the slightest thought of him; my heart is stone.

But then a song, a letter, an email... something comes along and revives the memory of that person. It's a little sad, a little painful to revisit it all. But the most shocking part is how much I don't think about it.

Going from my heart and head being split into two countries all the time to having my full attention in one place is a great feeling. I wonder where all that time thinking about him has gone. In my current mindframe, it was a waste. How could it not be when you have no point of validation?

He's nothing but a name now. A face I stumble upon in photos sometimes. A chat buddy on my list who I no longer care to chat with. "I'll never forget..."

We do forget. Everything passes.
I hope I remember that when I go through my next break up.

Listening to: Sting - Fields of Gold

forget london?

2006-02-20T23:50:00.000+04:00

I'm sure you guys have seen the "Forget London" ads everywhere.

I'm not a big ad person, but this one is really teasing me.

I know I'm totally way off, but for some reason it makes me think of the FCUK brand.

What do you think it's all about?

round-up

2006-02-20T20:36:00.000+04:00

I feel like I've been away from my blog for ages, even though it's only been 4 days!

The weekend was quite fun, we ended up going out on a boat party on Friday, it was so much fun!! Isn't it funny how when you really don't feel like going somewhere and expect to have a crappy time, you end up having a blast!? That's exactly what happened, and with plenty of hot, unseen, guys to boot! I eyed one all day and ended up talking to him, and the conversation was as flat as my hair on bad hair days. It's so annoying when that happens. Oh well!

Work has been a little busier as well. I've been to more press conferences in the span of 4 days than I generally care to attend, and man are the people annoying! Not only do audiences leave their phones on and answer them during the press conference, but I've just seen my first committe member about to give a speech answer his ringing phone. Talk about setting an example!

These conferences have been held at Emirates Palace, and I know many people think that place is awesome, but it just bothers me. It's sooo big, it's sooo lifeless, and walking around in it to get to one place is a little annoying when you're wearing stilletto-like heels. I know, maybe I should invest in a more comfortable pair of shoes for work, and I may not be the most girly of girls, but it's hard to separate me from my heels.

I had a cool assignment yesterday where I got to meet a guy who bought the powerboat featured in the movie Sahara (with Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz.) Given my fascination with all things celebrity, it was pretty cool to get to go on a ride in the exact same very sleek boat used in the movie. The owner was super cool too; I really do love my job sometimes (most of the time..:)

Anyway. I'm quite tired today; I had a very restless night last night for some reason so I'm quite beat today. I just watched the movie The Sea Inside, a Spanish movie that deals with euthanasia. I highly recommend it. I also saw West Beirut last night for the 3rd or 4th time, and it hits a nerve everytime. I am out of movies now...what to do tonight...? Ah yes, sleep.

Listening to: Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here

celeb sightings

2006-02-16T23:21:00.000+04:00

Lack of personality and creativity sometimes lead to stealing other people's ideas. For this post, I will be stealing my sister's idea.

Have you ever met anyone famous?
I have. Here are my stories. :)

My biggest celebrity encounter by far was with Ben. My Ben. Ben my love. Ben Affleck. Oh how I love Ben. I've had an unhealthy crush on Ben for a long long time. And there I was one summer in Montreal, at club Living, minding my own business, chatting with a friend of mine by the main entrance. I see this really tall guy walk in, I take a look and think to myself, wow this guy looks like Ben. I fixated on him for 30 seconds, and then just went back to my business, thinking I could never be so lucky. Also, the Ben look-alike was wearing a plaid shirt...I thought to myself: Ben would never wear plaid.

Within 3 mins, my friend runs up to me telling me: BEN IS HERE!! I'm not sure what posessed me, but within a split second, I was off to the middle of the dancefloor where Ben was surrounded by a bunch of girls. The tall guy in the plaid shirt was indeed my Ben. I walked straight up to him, held his hands, and said: "I knew it was you at the door. I love you bla bla bla." He looked at me like I was completely nuts. I kissed him on both cheeks and walked away. My friends did not want to know me for the rest of the evening. But I could not care less!!

My other brush with celebs also came in Montreal. We were at Tokyo club with a friend, when this guy starts chatting my friend up. That guy's friend comes near us and starts talking to us. The first guy goes: "hey, this is Cody from Student Bodies."

Now, anyone who lived in Canada and watched bad tv once in a while would remember Student Bodies as a really cheesy Canadian sitcom. And indeed, the guy was Jamie Elman, best known as Cody from Student Bodies. We ended up going for pizza after the club, and then ended up at the first guy's appartment playing Ouiji board all night with Cody and his friend, trying very hard to convince them that spirits do indeed exist. We left at 6 am, thinking for sure those guys must have thought we were completely nuts.

Otherwise I've met the Gyspy Kings in Abu Dhabi, DJ Sasha (love him!) and The Tea Party gang. I've seen Beau Bridges in a Montreal restaurant. I also bumped into Lisa Bonnet on Crescent street in Montreal, best known as Denise, the Cosby daughter on the Cosby Show, or Lenny Kravitz's ex-wife. I also saw rock band Korn at the Hard Rock Cafe in Montreal, and despite their slightly scary appearances, they looked really friendly! Oh, and I shook Ricky Martin's very sweaty hand while I was front row at his concert!! I know, I'm lame.

I can't think of anymore right now, but I'm sure I've seen others, as Montreal was quite the celeb friendly city.

So who have you guys met, kissed, or scared off?

life in reverse

2006-02-16T19:53:00.000+04:00

Damn the sun was strong today!! The met office seems to be a little off since they predicted strong winds and bad weather starting today...but I had none of it and sat in the sun all day long. I am now burnt to a crisp.

As the sun worked its wonders, a couple of friends and I were discussing something random when my very wise friend M said: Life should be backwards. We should be born old and grow younger.

Her point was, what's the point of having so much money when you're older, when you can no longer travel like you did when you were 25? Or for that matter, do anything like you could when you were 25?

In true blonde style I said: Seriously...who cares if we're cute when we're babies, who's gonna hit on us then? (in reference to the backwards-life theory, whereby we'd get more youthful looking and therefore more attractive as we grow old, and be born old and wrinkly, as no one cares what we look like then.)

Yes I know, I'm very wise sometimes.

Anyway, I thought M's point was funny, and quite interesting. Life does work in mysterious ways, but really, come to think of it, why the wealth and knowledge and wisdom only when you get too old to live life to the fullest?

Listening to: U2 - One
Oh Larry Mullen how I love you!

btw

2006-02-14T22:56:00.000+04:00

In case anyone cares, still no news from HK.
In fact, I almost don't care anymore.

And I say almost because I find his behaviour a little disrespectful.

No?

I'm dreading the day I'll run into him!

V-day

2006-02-14T19:14:00.000+04:00

Oooh the almighty marketing machine that is V-day is upon us!
How could I let this day slip by without a comment?

I may be a romantic deep deep deep deep down inside, but I'm not a flower, teddy bear, or bling kinda girl. Chocolate I'll take any day of the year, but all that other sappy stuff kinda makes me cringe.

Also, I've never ever really been in a relationship on V-day.
Actually, when I was 16, I was with a guy. He gave me a gold bracelet. I cringed for several reasons. 1: I do not wear yellow gold. 2: I did not wear bracelets. 3: I was on the verge of breaking up with him. I did, 3 days later.

I was also in a relationship last year on V-day, but it was a long distance relationship. So it doesn't really count.

So I'm single again this year and truth be told, I don't really care.
But to all of you die-hard romantics out there, hope you have a great one! But please, oh please, don't get a no-gold-no-bracelet-wearing girl a gold bracelet.

:)

Listening to: Incubus - Drive
Great song, great video!

perspective

2006-02-11T21:09:00.000+04:00

I was so angry about something that happened at work this afternoon. My hands were trembling, and I just wanted to break something.

Around 3 pm, I had an interview to do. I met with an inspirational young woman. She's just 18, she sings and writes songs. At the age of 14, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Two surgeries, four chemotherapy sessions and a pulmonary embolism later, her tumour was removed; it weighed about 7 kilos.

And there she was, sitting across from me, so cheerful, so happy, so cute. I came back home, and I swear, I could not remember what I was angry about in the first place.

Check her out. www.naree.co.uk
She'll be performing at the Terry Fox Run in Abu Dhabi this coming Friday.

Listening to: Andain - Beautiful Things (Gabriel & Dresden mix)
Quite a fitting song for the post I just wrote.

yummy boy

2006-02-10T16:02:00.000+04:00

It's official, I have a brand new crush.

Keith Urban. YUMMY.

On top of everything, he's Australian, and god knows I love Australians.
He's apparently romancing Nicole Kidman these days, but he is also known as quite the ladies' man. Sure, Nicole is hot. But I can make you happy Keith!!

Enjoy the photo as much as I am; it's my current desktop.

Listening to: Keith Urban - I want to love somebody like you (what else!?)
It's country, yes, but it's a fun, happy, yummy song.

feelin' hot hot hot

2006-02-09T17:31:00.000+04:00

It's soooo hot in Abu Dhabi today. It has been for the past few days actually. It feels like summer (almost), and I really really hope that this isn't the end of winter. It hasn't even rained yet!!

I am sleepy yet do not want to nap. My mini-vacation is almost up...noooooooooooo.

Listening to: Madonna - Sorry
LOVE IT. Such a fun song.

I just saw a video of her performance at the Grammys last night. She came on with the Gorillaz, who I absolutely love as well. Madonna looks freakin' fine. Not a wobbly bit in sight. Here's hoping to being half as toned as she is when I'm approaching 50!

a little more personal

2006-02-08T14:19:00.000+04:00

What I'm about to write about I've tried avoiding talking about lately. It's funny how humans can sometimes believe that by ignoring something, it no longer exists. Maybe in some cases it's true, but in this case it's not.

I've changed immensly over the past few years. I used to be a party girl, always up for a night out. Bars, clubs, raves, house parties, concerts...anything went. Now I'm more of a homey person, a little by choice, but mostly not.

I was about 14 or 15 when I first felt this way. I was at a dinner with my family. There was a cat who had just given birth to adorable kittens in the garden. Given my love for animals, I wanted to get close. I did, but the mother got angry and started hissing at me. And there it was...the first taste of something that would follow me for years to come. Panic. I had no idea why I felt that way, but I remember being absolutely terrified.

For a year or so after that, I'd wake up in the middle of the night, my heart beating so hard it moved my mattress, and I was afraid. But it passed.

Fast forward five years later. 2000 was quite a shaky year for me. I had been kicked out of university, as too much partying had led to failing grades. I had a huge fight with my best friends, which did not resolve itself until 2 years later. I felt a pressing need to come back to Abu Dhabi to see my family, and within days I was on a plane, heading back home. A week later, my uncle -who I lived with- passed away suddenly. I was developping feelings for an ex who I had broken up with years before, and after years of him pining for me, he was no longer interested. The panic resurfaced. Within months, it was gone again.

In 2001, I had an awful break up with a guy I had known for a while, although we only went out for 8 months first, and then a couple of months a few years later. I was devastated, for more than one reason. Somehow I held on to my life and managed to get out of the hollow feeling that inhabited me. A year later, the panic was back. I was back in Abu Dhabi that summer, and I felt a huge panic attack come on. I cried for 3 days. The panic attack lasted 3 whole agonising days. I felt I was going to die any minute.

From then on I made the decision to see a counsellor. Sometimes I can't remember her name, but I never forget her face. She became my comfort, even though all she did was listen to me mostly. There was so much I needed to say, without answers, without solutions, without judgment. My anxiety got better, and I was leading a 'normal' life again.

It's now almost four years later, but the panic came back, in full force, last year. And this time, I haven't been able to shake it off the way I did all the other times. For a long time, I was unable to just cross the street to buy a pack of cigarettes, let alone go out to restaurants, sit with friends, or go to a club. Until now, I worry about going out alone, I worry everytime I am in public, I worry all the bloody time about having a panic attack.

I'm sure a lot of people have experienced panic attacks at some point in their lives and from all the reading I've done about it, it's quite common. But my technique this time has been to avoid them at all costs, something that made me homebound for a long, long time. The feeling, although fleeting, is just so awful, so terrifying and so out of my control that I never want to experience it again.

Since I've come back to Abu Dhabi, it's helped me a little bit. Abu Dhabi is not a very crowded city, so I can manage getting by. In my mind, I make notes of little victories, such as crossing the street without fear last year, going out for brunch with my friends, going to the mall on my own, attending a wedding with 300 guests, travelling abroad, and just the other night, going out to a bar with some friends.

They are victories that mean nothing to some, and that god knows, meant absolutely nothing to me just a few years ago. My panic attacks created so much trouble in my life. Insecurity on my behalf, leading me to trust no one. I lost common ground with my closest friends, as we had nothing but the memories of days gone by to connect us. I was angry a lot of the time because I did not want to accept the person I had become.

My sister was god-sent throughout the past year. It's never easy to handle something that you don't quite comprehend, but she's been so patient with me. My father has slowly been trying to understand what goes on in my head, and my brother keeps me sane in the best way he can, by making me laugh. For a long time, I stopped talking to my closest friends about it because I felt I was being repetitive. Now I'm more comfortable talking about it with them, and I understand that it's ok for me to feel this way, that the people who love me will not judge me if I am not feeling well.

I still struggle with it and sometimes wish my mind could be as powerful in convincing me that there is nothing to worry about rather than convince me that I should be afraid of something. I could have taken the easy way out and started popping pills for my anxiety, but somewhere deep down inside of me I know I am stronger than that and that I can overcome this on my own.

Now some days are better than others. I've learnt to reason with myself and not worry all the bloody time. I've also learnt to not freak out the minute my body feels strange inside. I've learnt that even if I do have another panic attack, it will pass (hopefully). I've learnt that things could be much worse. I've learnt that I need to accept the person I've become and not fight her. I'm also beginning to trust that the people who love me will love me whether I'm panicky or not.

Listening to: Phil Collins - Easy Lover (2002 White Label club mix)
I may have just written a sappy post, but I do have a sense of humour. I absolutely love this song, it puts me in such a good mood.

of boys and religion

2006-02-07T14:45:00.000+04:00

I'm sitting here sipping on the best mochaccino in AD, having a smoke, and enjoying the time off.
Although I did attend a press conference this morning and filed a little article...I'm not sure why I volunteered to work this morning even though I'm officially off; I guess it's part guilt, part love for my work.

While I truly am enjoying being off from work, there is a sense of boredom that is ever-present. I'm not quite sure what it is since I've been keeping myself quite busy. I know there are plenty of things missing in my life, I'm not quite sure what they are.

What I do know is that I officially hate men. Well...hate might be a strong word. But I'm fed up with them actually. As you may have guessed, no news from HK yet. I don't really understand why someone would invite you for coffee AND give out their apartment number, you accept the offer, and don't hear back from them. Today is day 3 since I sent out the email...and in my book, once the 3-day mark has passed, it's generally not a good sign. I don't live by many dating rules, but the 3-day rule seems to make sense to me.

In other AD Sunshine issues, I was watching the news yesterday morning and saw a report on the anti-Danish protests in Lebanon. I cried. The sheer volume of angry people coupled with their bone-chilling screams and violence really scared me. Most people who know me know that I am still quite ambivalent about religion...but never more than now have I felt such feelings towards it. I've never wanted to dissociate myself from it more than right now. I read this post by a dear virtual-friend of mine, and although I don't have quite as much faith as he generally does, I felt like his words were pulled right out of my mouth. (Hope you don't mind that I linked you F.!) His last line gave me the shivers.

I have so many feelings about what's happening in the world that I don't know where to begin to write about them. I do know that I feel like the world is hanging on by a very thin thread, and I'm just hoping things won't escalate.

(PS: I've seen the following on several blogs and like the idea. I'll be including "what I'm listening to" lines at the end of my posts, since I am a music nut. )

Listening to: The Tea Party - Heaven Coming Down
I absolutely love them, great Canadian band that I actually got to meet in Montreal during the taping of a show for Musique Plus, Montreal's answer to MTV. Though I am sure lead singer Jeff Martin was completely coked out when I asked him my questions, I have it on tape. My first claim to fame :)

me-time

2006-02-06T01:29:00.000+04:00

It's 1'30 am and I am wide awake for some reason, even though I didn't get a very good night's sleep last night. I just came back from a night out, and boy is it hard to find one decent looking man in Abu Dhabi...hot man count: ZERO

I had a bit of a shitty night last night, the whole work issue was really getting to me and I just couldn't focus or get motivated. I asked for a few days off this morning, and so I am off until Saturday. I kinda feel guilty, but I guess being relaxed and focused is more important in the end.

As far as the HK crush is concerned, well I emailed him on Saturday morning, in reply to his "dot dot dot" email. I was quite direct, saying : Coffee sounds great, let me know when.

I know he got my email since I have read receipts sent to me from my work email. But he has yet to reply. I find it a little strange considering his replies have usually been fast. Oh well...who knows. We'll see what comes out of it.

I'm really hoping to take the next few days to do "me-things" like sleeping, shopping, beaching and all. I haven't had a vacation since August, and once again, a feeling of non-excitement and boredom is coming over me. I went out to a coffee shop for breakfast this morning, on my own, then hooked up with some friends at the beach, and ended up going out for a couple of drinks...and even if it doesn't seem like much, it felt nice to not have to worry about going to work in the morning.

Sometimes I wonder if I really do want to work my whole life...and when I don't work, I go nuts if I have nothing to do. On that note, I'm going to sleep on those thoughts.

time...goes by...so....

2006-02-03T20:54:00.000+04:00

Why is it that when you want time to go by slowly, days just zoom by?

It's already the end of my weekend, and I am dreading going to work tomorrow. I haven't felt like that in a while. I hope I can be adult enough to suck it up and just deal with whatever it is that is happening at work. I soooo feel like being a kid and stubborn about it, but I guess I have to grow up now.

Hmm.

No developments on the crush this weekend. Although my fingers have been itching to call, email, or something! I really truly hate dating games, but I guess they have to be done, at least in the beginning. In my mind, if I like someone and want to explore it, I do it right away, no need to waste time. But of course, guys end up thinking women are desperate if they do that. And vice versa, women will think guys are needy if they call too soon. Silly games...

I went to a pre-party at a friend's place last night, was quite fun. Except I got home, and as if right on target, got drunk as soon as I passed the doorstep! It was so annoying being drunk alone! I had a couple of drinks during the party and had a nice buzz, but on the way out, a friend and I took a swig from a vodka bottle, and another swig from a cognac bottle. Don't ask why, but we did. So voila...drunk on my own. It was quite boring...:)

Oh well...Back to work tomorrow. I DON'T WANNA!!

dot dot dot

2006-02-02T00:48:00.000+04:00

Given that I was bored out of my brains and completely unmotivated at work today, I decided to tempt fate.

I emailed my crush. Let's call him HK. I found a semi-decent reason to write to him, just mentionning something I came across that related to his hockey team. I ended the email with "Hope all is well, Take care."

Nice and sweet.

He replied an hour later, humouring my comments and then said something about getting me to go to one of their hockey games sometime. And then: "Drop by for coffee sometime...(insert his apartment number here)."

HMMMMMMMM

The red-highlighted dot dot dot up there is throwing me off track. I know that when I write, dot dot dot usually signifies things unsaid, or a longing for something.

Again, I am schizophrenic blogger with probably too much time on her hands, and hence am probably reading too much into the dot dot dot.

But really, does he seriously expect me to drop by for coffee? I know he's Canadian and Canadians are nice and friendly and all. Maybe he doesn't yet realise that such things are not generally done out here.

I mean if someone had said that to me in Canada, I would have done it. In fact, I have. But out here, I've become quite paranoid and have unconsciouly been adhering to "social norms."

Anyway, who knows. Maybe he has a gf, maybe he is married (although I don't think I spotted a ring, but I'll look out for it next time!)

What is my next step?
Answers on a postcard plz!!

a crush?

2006-01-31T22:14:00.000+04:00

You know, looking at my posts, I realise I am quite schizophrenic in my writing. One day I'm ditzy, wanting to look like Britney, the next I'm all emotional about a serious issue. I assure you, I am not clinically schizophrenic...(I hope not at least!)

I've been in a really shitty mood the past few days; work stuff. I don't even want to get into it, but it's really bringing me down. I want out, but I don't think that's a possibility right now.

On the upside, I think I have a crush. This is quite momentous, considering it's my first crush since my break-up in August. (Unless you consider a completely fleeting and insane crush on a married hot-hot-hottie, whose baby I used as a mean to gaze into his goooorgeous eyes. He's gone now, so it's safe again:p)

You know, some great scientific minds (ie: the Sex and the City ladies) once said it takes half the time of your relationship to get over the guy. Considering my relationship lasted a year, I should be over this guy in February. Except I think I got over him -fully- over a month back, so yay me!

Back to my crush. It's completely weird. The guy lives in my building. We met in the elevator once, when he (or his friend?) asked me where I got my "Livestrong" and "Make Poverty History" bands. From their accents, I immediately guessed they were Canadians. A piece of my second home, right here in my building!

Anyway, we bumped into each other a couple of times afterwards, exchanged business cards, and he called me once to ask if I could cover their hockey team. Since I am not a sports reporter, and had not yet began my crush at the time, I told him I'd put him in touch with the sports reporter. I emailed him back one day to give him the sports reporter's number, he emailed back saying thanks and "hope to see you again."

Isn't it dumb how girls can read so much into 5 little words? I think that's what triggered the crush.

Anyway, after that email, nothing for a while. Then I saw him walk into the building Saturday morning and surprisingly found myself speeding up the pace to catch the same elevator. We talked, hi hi, bla bla, then he said "See you (insert my name here)"...Well, at least he remembers my name!

This is all very surprising to me because I'm not quite attracted to him, and I don't even know him. I'm not sure what to make of it, but I can safely say that having a crush is a nice feeling, even if nothing comes out of it.

I keep considering getting in touch with him for whatever reason, but given that I've been stealing my friend's copy of "He's Just Not That Into You" while lazying around on the beach, I keep telling myself: he has my number, email, workplace and home address! If he wants to get in touch with me, he can!

Although, when I saw him Saturday morning, it was 9 am, and I was walking into the building, going back home from an early morning interview. Maybe he thought I had spent the night out? At a guy's place??

Hmmm. I know, I'm crazy. But why would I be walking INTO the building at 9 am if I live there?

We girls love to find excuses.

Any suggestions from you wise people?

Palestine

2006-01-29T22:43:00.000+04:00

Palestine tears me apart. So much in fact, that I wish I didn't care to begin with.
My first reaction to Hamas' victory was one of disbelief. But after the initial gasp came discussions with family, friends, co-workers. And my feelings for Palestine were even further ripped apart. I thought I had a sound opinion on what was happening to my country, but I don't think I know anymore.

Hamas wins the election, and I see a big red flag. After all, they are the 'terrorists', responsible for the suicide bombings that I've always condemned. Their covered faces never failed to make an impression on me, and the image of the late Sheikh Ahmed Yassin in his wheelchair always sent a shiver down my spine. I guess I became part of the gullible public for a while; all I could see was their evil.

The suicide bombings carried out by various Palestinian groups always make me angry. But I've thought long and hard about the plight of the Palestinians, and how maybe many of us would be driven to such acts if pushed long and hard enough. For what seems to be an eternity, the Palestinians have been bullied, killed and humiliated by the Israelis; any sane person can rationalise and 'understand' why they want to go out there and kill the civilian enemy, and leave the mortal world behind.

The religious beliefs behind the suicide bombings infuriate me. Why is it that religion condemns suicide, yet opens up the gates of heaven to a suicide bomber? And what's more, when did Palestine become a Muslim country?

Many a time I participated in rallies and demonstrations in Montreal, whether for the war on Iraq, or for whatever the Palestinian/Israeli issue of the time was. Amongst other chants, the thousands of people gathered would always end up chanting: Palestine is Muslim, Jerusalem is for Muslims. I got so angry every time I heard those words. I thought the Palestinians, Muslim, Christian or atheist, were all united for the cause of their country. Who made it Muslim??

Hamas being in power worries me. Known for their extreme religious beliefs, what will then happen to the Christians of Palestine? Already a minority, seems like we're going to disappear forever if Hamas has its way.

Not to offend anyone, but religion is the source of all evil in Palestine. Jews, Muslims and Christians want to claim it as their own, but it seems we forget that once upon a time, they all cohabited. Why can't they do that now?

I fear Hamas' victory will only strengthen the Israeli right-wingers, and that Netenyahu -aptly dubbed the only man who can make Sharon look like a dove- will come back to power. It seems the timing of Sharon's illness and Hamas' victory is creating a bad momentum for things to just plunge back into disaster.

I never claim to know the Palestinian plight, to feel what the Palestinians of the war feel, or to be wise enough to come up with a solution. But more than ever, I feel torn apart. I once interviewed a Palestinian activist in Montreal, and she uttered words that have stuck with me over the years. "Jerusalem is a metaphor for peace."

I guess she was referring to the golden days of Jerusalem, but her words created a utopian image in my mind, one that only blurrs with the passing of time. I may be wrong, but I feel like we've never been further away from that metaphor.

Here's hoping I'm wrong.

i look like...

2006-01-28T20:30:00.000+04:00

According to this website (http://www.myheritage.com/FP/Company/tryFaceRecognition.php?s=1&u=g0&lang=EN )
I look like Britney Spears, Charlize Theron, Natalie Portman, and Hillary Clinton amongst others.

Someone once told me I looked like Britney, and since I had a crush on this guy, I didn't know if it was an insult or a compliment.

But Charlize Theron? I WISH! That girl is bloody gorgeous...But I'm flattered by myheritage.com. Has anyone seen her movie Head in the Clouds, with her boyfriend, Stuart Townsend? They were so hot I wanted to hump both of them!

Natalie Portman is very wrong. I have nothing of her, but she is quite hot.

And Hillary Clinton? I mean ok yes, I have bad days like everyone else, but seriously, I don't look like her.

I'm surprised this website didn't come up with Laura Prepon as a lookalike. I've gotten strangers telling me: oh my god, you look like Donna from "That 70's show"! Hmmm. I like to think it's a compliment.

Try it out, it's funny. You need to register, but it's free. Although god knows where the pics go?! I hope my face doesn't end up on someone's plastic body on a seedy website.

enough MJ

2006-01-26T21:26:00.000+04:00

Enough already with MJ's crap.

I love MJ and his music, and have always been 'on his side'.

But he's gone too far, and Gulf authorities are doing fuck all about it. He's insulting their culture and no one seems to be batting an eyelid.

Such hypocrits, it kills me!!

buzz kill

2006-01-25T20:50:00.000+04:00

The day seemed to start off ok. I was still in bed by 10 am, knowing that I had a phone interview scheduled at 1 pm, and a face-to-face interview at 4 pm. I took my time getting ready for work and was a little excited about an article of mine that was published today. So far, so good.

I took the elevator down and set out to catch a cab, and my street was pretty congested for some reason, not too common in AD at that time of day. I guess I was feeling particularly vain this morning; once in the cab, I took a little mirror out of my bag and put some lipstick on. I never wear lipstick.

Just as I had finished polishing my pout, I turned and saw a crowd gathered by the side walk, and right there in the middle of it, lying on the floor, a man. I think he was dead. Probably another pedestrian, victim of this country's crazed drivers. My heart skipped a beat and I muttered "Jesus", and the cab driver turned around and said to me: "mot", or "death" in Arabic.

I wanted to cry. The contrast between my vanity and this man's death just killed my unusual morning buzz.

I got to the office, picked up the paper, and first thing I see is this. Probably not too depressing considering I had just seen a dead man on the street, but still, I was really bothered by the news that the dead Dubai whale had been harpooned four times.

I didn't think my mood could get any worse, but it did when I got a really annoying email from the editor in chief, deciding on my behalf along with the rest of the company's suits what I should be doing. Seems our AD office isn't faring too well with Dubai's office standards, and rather than be smart about it, they decide to piss people off.

Anyway. Both my 1pm and 4 pm interviews didn't happen. The long distance phone interview guy did not pick up, even though I tried for one bloody hour. STEWART PEARCE, voice coach and well-being guru, if you're reading this, you wasted a good part of my day!

Interview number 2, I just did not have the heart to go along for. I tried to get the lady to speak to me on the phone, but little miss prissy wouldn't agree to a phone interview. As my editor put it: Fuck it. I did.

Hopefully I'll find a little comfort in fresh home-made chocolate cookies tonight. I think the starvation I referred to in yesterday's post is indeed psychological. Crap!

I Heart Whales

2006-01-24T23:10:00.000+04:00

Check this story out! Who knew? I certainly didn't know about ambergris.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4642722.stm

I love whales. I went whale watching in Canada last year and have been mesmerised since.

And even though my brother thinks I'm retarded for being sad about the death of the whale in Dubai and the one in the river Thames, I truly was.

IWhales

word-worm

2006-01-24T19:52:00.000+04:00

I'm waiting for some bread to defrost so I can have dinner; I'm starving. Seems to be the case all the time lately. Not sure if it's physical or psychological.

I'm waiting and thinking about my blog and how much I want to sit down and write about something. But I am all written out. I spent the whole day writing yesterday (for work), I've been playing bookworm (on yahoo) for a good part of the afternoon, and I've just finished studying another part of the GRE book, antonyms. Words are swirling around in my head, and I swear, I have a headache now.

I was so pooped from writing last night, but as soon as I went to bed, I had flashes of words back and forth in my imagination. I think I have a problem!

I just wanted to opine on the recent outpour of opinions on the showing of Brokeback Mountain in the UAE. I've read so many retarded letters to the editor concerning this issue, and it only deepens my fear of living in such a mentally backwards country.

Almost all of us know by now that Brokeback Mountain is the story of two gay cowboys. And that's as far as some people will go in describing it. I haven't seen the movie yet, obviously, but from what I've read and what I can imagine, it's a love story, and definitely more complex than boy-on-boy shagging. In fact, I believe there is only one 'graphic' scene throughout the movie.

Sure we live in Muslim country. But even worse, we live in a country who still calls homosexuality a disease, and a country that will deny having bred any homosexuals.

There are so many offensive tv shows, movies and the likes that show daily on local channels, yet no one will raise a finger or a voice about it. I read samuraisam's take on the deal yesterday; it was hilarious, and so so soooo true.

I don't think I can say it any better than him, so enjoy!

resolute

2006-01-21T15:44:00.000+04:00

So my resolution about blogging more regularly isn't going down too well. Oops!However, do take note that I am working on the other resolutions I made.

My friend M took the big step and bought herself the GMAT book and in the process bought me the GRE book. I call it my new boyfriend, as it seems I will be hanging out with reading comprehension and quantitative skills for a while. The book looked a little daunting, but M and I met up on Wednesday night to begin the G-Adventure. I took the diagnostic test, scored 18/30 on the verbal part (not bad but certainly abysmal for a "writer"), and scored a laughable 8/28 on the math part. HAHAHA. This coming from the person who scored 18/20 in math on my French Baccalaureat. HAHAHA.

I used to love math. Math was my stress reliever. You either get math, or you don't. I got it. And when philosophy, history and economics got the best of me, I'd open up a math book and give myself a boost. Nerdy, but effective. Now, I can barely remember how to multiply. My next G-Adventure session should be in a few days, I'm actually looking forward to it. Don't hate me, but I actually like studying..:)

I also dropped by Berlitz the other day to speak to an advisor about taking up German. Well, the lady seems to think I look like a person who can afford 5,000 AED every two months to learn a language. Strange, since I did make it a point to dress in raggedy jeans and flip-flops to downplay my overwhelming wealth. Crazy people...5000!!!??? Besides, the GRE will be taking up my time, I doubt I'll want to study every day of the week, I'm not THAT big a nerd.

I should be going to a Pilates class this evening, in order to keep in line with my resolutions. But I hate doing these things alone, it bores me. None of my friends can make it to Pilates today. ARGH! We'll see.

It's cold in Abu Dhabi today. I'm wearing two layers (that's enormous by our standards) and the windows are closed, but the sky is covered outside my window and I wish we'd get a few drops of rain so we can officially call this winter. But nature won't let up just yet.

late resolutions

2006-01-14T20:16:00.000+04:00

On my birthday, I mentionned that I tend to make my resolutions when I age rather than at the turn of the new year. I think I lied..:)

Maybe it was all this reflection time I've had since new year's; with the death of Sheikh Maktoum and the Eid Al Adha, we've basically been on holiday since January 1st. And the sheer boredom that is Abu Dhabi coupled with an intense feeling of wanting to do something more with my life has made me want to take on a billion resolutions at once.

1- Pursue a Master's degree. Sure sounds great, especially when the prospective locations are Australia, Vancouver, or my beloved Montreal. But I've got a teeny problem: I have no idea which field of study I want to get into. I have an undergrad in journalism and a certificate in PR, so a master's in journalism is quite possibly out of the question as I'd essentially be doing an undergrad all over again. An MBA is sooo not my thing, given that I'm the least business-oriented person on the planet. I guess I'd lean towards Political Science (but oh will I have no social life), English (sounds a little flat), or Creative Writing (I'm so not creative). Or, I could take on something totally out of my field and go for oceanography or anthropology...ooh, anthropology! was actually my initial desire for an undergrad...who knows?

2- Study German. At my high school, once you hit 8th grade, you could chose to study either German or Spanish. I opted for German, a language I had always loved, despite many calling it barbaric and unattractive. I followed classes for 3 years, but the sheer complexity of German grammar made me give up. I had more important things to deal with...boys, parties and all. How bright I was. So now I want to take it up again, except that the Goethe Institute in Abu Dhabi will only begin classes in April. Berlitz does offer courses, but at 3000 AED, I'm a bit worried about my dwindling bank account. Anyone know of any other centres out here?

3- Pilates. I practised Pilates for a year in Montreal and absolutely loved it. See I'm not what you'd call an athlete, but pilates is heaven sent for me: relaxing, low impact, and efficient! Except everytime I call up a healthclub, seems the instructor is out of town, sick, or classes are only in the morning (while I have to be at the office). Hmm...fingers crossed, I think I may have found a place where the instructor is in town, able-bodied, and understands the concept of work during the day. I live with the hope that Pilates will one day make me look like Kim Catrall (aka, Samantha from Sex and the City) when I'm 50+. Right! I'm in my 20's and barely look like that.

4- Dance. All of my friends are die-hard salsa fans, yet I've never been into it. I love music and often blast the music and pretend I'm Britney in the comfort of my bedroom, but I'd like to do it more regularly. I had taken a couple of hip hop dance classes in Montreal, and while I looked like a complete idiot, it was so much fun. Once I got the choreography a little, I felt like I was in an Usher video. Good fun.

5- Keep all of the above resolutions. Ok, I know I said there were a zillion, but four seem enough.

Oh and 6- Blog a little more regularly :)

a shaky beginning

2006-01-06T18:13:00.000+04:00

I'm not sure what to make of the start of the new year. On a personal level, things are just the same, nothing exciting, and it's beginning to irritate me. But on the global level, it seems things are anything but stable.

Collapse, that's the word for it. Ice rink collapse in Germany, building collapse in Saudi Arabia, Sheikh Maktoum dying in Australia, Ariel Sharon clinging to life in Israel, floods in Indonesia, and the list goes on.

Just like many people out there, I've become desensitised to the news of the world, reading and seeing tragedies day in and day out and then moving on to bitching about my little life. But I'm in a phase right now where the news of the world is bringing me down, where I can't seem to find any hope in higher powers, if they do indeed exist.

Meanwhile, I live with a relative who is depressed and seems to have lost all hope in life, and all I want to do is figuratively give her a kick in the ass and tell her that her life isn't so bad compared to the tragedies of the world. I thought that the older we become, the less self-centered we become, and that we become more tuned in to the human condition. Not so in this case.

I wish the tragedies of the world could make me get up and do something about it rather than sit here and feel like crap about it, but there is still something holding me back. Maybe it's the feeling of being powerless to such enormous happenings, maybe it's fear, maybe it's that I don't really care enough. I don't know.

Being in the media, I was thinking the other day of how it would go if someone started up a paper filled with good news. Would the world accept such a thing, or are human beings just attracted to the tragedy of others? Don't you think we need a few pages a day to restore our faith in humanity?

With all the horrible things happening in the world, it's easy to forget that humanity also generates love and happiness, not just death and destruction. But I'd love to hear about those good things as much as I need to hear about the bad things, just to keep things balanced out. I personally can't remember the last bit of good news coming out of the media. Maybe someone can share?

AD Sunshine VS. The Desert (0-2)

2006-01-01T18:32:00.000+04:00

Happy New Year ya'll (as Britney would say).

As you read in my previous post, we scrambled to come up with plan B and it actually turned out quite nice. We ended up in the desert in Sweihan, at a farmer's old shack with a nice big tent out in the field. We drank drank drank way more than we should have before midnight, with me and my friend M even treating my brother and others to some quite amusing dancing involving a poll holding up a tent. Good fun. Midnight came around, and then people started dropping like flies, falling asleep in the tent, which was initially meant to be the party area. Oh well...some late-nighters, including yours truly, hung around by the bbq outside, having leftover food and sharing swigs out of the Johnny Walker bottle.

Good old Johnny, he kept me warm until about 4 am when I decided I'd hit the sack. I set up my sleeping bag in the tent and there began my battle with the desert. Although I live in the desert, I can quite honestly say I am not a desert kinda gal. I love camping, when it involves an island and my beloved ocean. But camping in the desert proved to be quite a nasty experience the first time around (in 96, when I got so bloody cold at night I started hallucinating and seeing camels walk by right in front of me...hmm, no I was not drunk.)

So this time as I said, I set up my sleeping bag and snuggled in with a pair of jeans, socks, 2 sweaters and a scarf around me. I was still cold. I pulled open another sleeping bag and covered myself, and still, I was shivering. I figured I'd go into one of the rooms in the old shack and put a wool blanket over me. My legs were still jerking uncontrollably. I've always heard that some kinds of cold weather you can feel in your bones, and this was exactly it. My bones were frozen, nothing would keep me warm. I asked my bro to hang out with me for a while, hoping the conversation would make me forget my frozen state, but it was just getting worse. We woke my sis up and decided to head home at 5 am with our friend Z. By then I was wearing my brother's bomber jacket and had a sleeping bag on my legs in the heated car, and only then did I begin to warm up. I passed out in the car and ended up home, showered and in my bed by 7 am.

Not exactly the new year's eve I had planned for...but oh well!

All this to say, the desert = never again. I had said that 10 years ago, and I say it again today. NO MORE!

I am an island girl, don't make me sleep in the midst of dunes under (gorgeous, I have to admit) starry skies.

What did ya'll end up doing? (don't ask, I've had Britney's "ya'll" in my head all day.)

forecasting issues

2005-12-31T14:19:00.000+04:00

Do any of you really truly believe in Murphy's law?
I am seriously beginning to.

We've had 364 days of sunshine, and today, because we decide to go camping on an island for new year's eve, there are impossible winds and chances of rain...!!!

See generally we don't bother to check the weather forecast..."sun sun and more sun" tends to get a bit boring. But this year, mother nature wants to mess with our plans.

This leaves us scrambling for a last minute plan, with 20 or so people waiting in the wings, and food for an army!!

Let's see what we manage to come up with.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
hope you have a blast, rain or shine, snow or wind.